[Z-E-P-H-Y-R]

2009-04-28T13:50:00.002+08:00

For those who have asked: Yes, I've moved. Mostly for convenience.
This blog holds many memories so I'm not deleting it. I still don't know exactly who reads this, so I'm considering locking it. Drop me a comment over there if you're so inclined so I can put a name to those IPs!

2009-02-20T02:21:00.004+08:00

::listening to "layla" by eric clapton w/ mark knopfler::

perspectives

What'll you do when you get lonely
And nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long.
You know it's just your foolish pride.

today i saw a girl on the bus.
she was vaguely familar, like someone from the past.

we ran towards the bus together, nearly falling over ourselves. i was reminded of something that perhaps, i didn't want to remember. she smiled at me, an impish little half grin- shrugging off our foolishness. and i remembered.

a pretty long time ago, i thought i had what i always wanted. something that my pride will not permit for me to state. for however brief a time frame, i was happy. whenever i look back now, there's still a twinge of sadness over the disappointments, and even regret. but sometimes good things aren't meant to last. i once thought of other outcomes, and what if's. but i wouldn't have it any other way, despite the consequences. i knew i couldn't have it both ways, but what i ultimately got does indeed give me a great deal of comfort. time does fly- it was months, and now years. it was nice while it lasted, thanks for the memories. perhaps one day, things will be different.

2009-02-04T01:21:00.002+08:00

::listening to "romulus" by sufjan stevens::

this ends soon. i don't know how, but i'll think of something.
i have to take charge.
change should and must happen, as adverse i am to it.
i wish i knew how.

this dull throb feels vaguely familiar.
the world moves but i'm here, standing still.
and it's here where i'm alone. all alone.

where's that shoulder when you need one?
maybe i really am repressed.

2009-01-23T03:45:00.003+08:00

::listening to "decode" by paramore::

hello.

tagged by the danielle, and being the insomniac i am i'm doing it at 3:30am. =\
16 random shit about me-
Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, its because I want to know more about you.

1. i am usually more disappointed / affected then i let on.
2. i am addicted to grey's anatomy. and contrary to popular belief it's not ALL about mcdreamy. he just plays a part!
3. my personality type is ISFP.
4. i watch too much natgeo and discovery. friends say i'm a closet geek :(
5. i am not a morning person. in fact. i need to lie somewhere well lit (or draw the binds) for like 10 minutes before i can get up. you can call it solar charging. as such, chances of me showing my face for 9am classes are greatly increased (!) if nice friends ("WTF skye if you kup my dian wei one more time i will chop you!!") will morning call me.
6. i have a bandwidth hogging brother. lately tho, i've become a cold hearted bitch who pulls his $%@ cable out of my router when my ping hits 1k in fucking naxxramas.
7. my room is loosely described as an "organized mess".
8. i sometimes wish i could further my studies overseas.
9. when i am secretly emo and need a mush fix i watch mushy movies alone so i can rewind the mushy bits if i want to. i know. very un-skye.
10. when desperate for mush fix decided to read twilight series. i read all 4 in a sick omfg so mushy but i must finish fever. mush finale was urgh, bad.
11. my biggest dream is a loft apartment with a nice view.
12. i sometimes wish i were more extroverted.
13. i don't need many friends. i just need a few good ones.
14. ian and i have recently concluded that we are two very cynical people. we spent most of the time sniggering at bad cliche love songs at a recent wedding.
15. choice of genres: indie, alternative, and metal. i also spend too much money on cds.
16. i also still want to start the drippy (lau zup!) sausage band! the da neow can be the enthusiastic sacrificial lamb who PRs with dodgy fans while the rest of the band escapes from the scene. it would be perfect.

tagging anyone who wants to do it. mainly because i am lazy to think of people to tag. :D

new year, new semester. i hate school and its 9am bullshit. -_- is it sad when you blog more on school blogs then your own? our lecturers nowadays like to keh kiang and ask us to make blogs. i think they just like to see emo students struggle trying to write something mildly impressive sounding or have deluded themselves into thinking students will open up to them in said blogs. mons and weds are good days tho, can see everyone! day is greatly improved when i talk cock with lydz and co.

am spending my chinese new year ALONE, unless you count my bandwidth hogging brother. parents are flying to korea tmr on nth honeymoon. on the plus side, i get to stay at mr ho's and leech his electricity etc, dad has loaned the car to him (then he can drive me around! personal ahmad), and they've agreed to let me go to taiwan with friends next sem break. pleased :D going to see mogwai tmr. and wtb jason mraz tickets! :(

2008-11-01T02:59:00.005+08:00

::listening to "hotel california" by the eagles::

azure

today was one of those days. i was tired- had only 3.5 hours of sleep the night before. up mugging for a completely redundant paper. i wanted to go straight home after the 9AM paper, but decided to chill with my classmates for abit. they ARE the reason why school is bearable, even fun. i wish i spent more time with them, but sometimes the urge to skip class is overpowering. came home shit-faced, and collapsed into bed. had guitar at 2, and i actually didn't feel like going. contemplated not going. haven't been to class for 2 weeks due to shitty hectic schedule.

still. i dragged myself out of bed, and headed to cityhall without lunch. lesson was grueling- i even got nagged at. but just playing again re-motivates me. it was a small bit of happiness after the shitty start of the day. as i walked to the station with iron maiden in my ears and the warm sun against my back, i actually felt content. the day was perfect- slightly overcast azure skies, the air cool with the sun feeling pleasantly warm for once- not humid and sticky. the shit day turned out to be a okay one, and not the disaster i envisioned it to be; given my current sleep deprived state. it's moments like these that i live for.

the weekend's finally here- TGIF. time to pick up the shiney orville from setup, watch movies, sit in bed and geek out over nat geo with mr ho, stuff my face, buy the last book of twilight, and play wow. oh joy. :D

2008-10-14T17:08:00.003+08:00

::listening to "gobbledigook" by sigur rós::

lazybum :P

i must say this cat looks like you and i cannot lie! hurhur! the grumpy expression and the posture is UNCANNY. D:

i'll update when the mood next strikes me. :D

2008-09-17T01:56:00.004+08:00

::listening to "free fallin'" by john mayer::

orville

i'm getting a new shineeyy guitar. selling the strat and buying a '92 lemon drop orville. can share with ianz! quite excited about getting a new toy to play with.. only ever played strat type guitars. still very attached to the 'banez though, have alot more love for it compared to the strat.. which is odd, because the strat's my first guitar. after the 'banez came home with me, the strat has really been neglected- i hardly ever take her out to play. sometimes it makes me feel a little bad- cos i feel she deserves to be played and given the attention she deserves. much as i love the strat's neck and how she feels overall.. i guess i'm a humbucker person at heart. so i'll probably sell her to someone who can better love and appreciate her. having problems letting go though.. used to seeing her at her corner of the room la.. sigh. at least i don't have to sell the 'banez to get the orville- which is what terry is actually having to contemplate. selling his first guitar to get that guit at BW.. i can actually understand how he feels.. =\

been wanting alot of things lately, and gas is obviously rearing its ugly head at the wrong time. i blame school! fucking stress with too much work and quizzes. sometimes it helps when i have something to look forward to. just heard about a7x and the taste of chaos tour. lydz and co all wanna go.. maybe we can go together finally! no more repeats of dt wuss out and such. i wonder how much the tickets are though.. the orville is probably going to cut deep into the savings.

meet the man who inspired me to get a strat in the first place! i don't care about people who hate on john mayer, that "wtf but he plays pop!". haters who say that have obviously never seen JMT play together. you can't deny the man can play. i know he looks goofy in that pic but i like it LOL. its like "heh heh. look at my fans! heh heh." i'm currently playing his latest live album "Where the Light Is" on repeat. have the dvd too! i really, really like the acoustic section. he plays neon, stop this train, in your atmosphere, daughters, and free fallin'. all JM favourites for me. feel good music, seriously. and these all have really good lyrics.

so afraid of getting older
i'm only good at being young
so i play the numbers game to find a way to say my life has just begun

i'm glad i met you when i did. you just make me smile :]

2008-09-09T02:48:00.003+08:00

::listening to "transatlanticism" by death cab for cutie::

older.

i'm 22 today. i don't feel any different actually. birthdays are generally excuses to stuff one's face, imho. i've been feeling sick because my germbag bro is busy spreading germs throughout the house. not being able to sleep because you can't breathe is just ghastly. you end up irritable and cranky the next day. the dull dead feeling of too much work is also beginning to settle in. i must say i hate school. not the people, the work! the only thing i'm looking forward to these days is wrath of the lich king. excitement!! i can't wait.

in other news, ian just applied for a BTO flat! i'm listed as the fiancee hurhur. hopefully we get it. going to ikea will probably be more interesting if we're shopping for our own house. he always spends like nth hours at the place measuring stuff and asking rhetoric questions like "hm, i like this. but i think that one better. what do you think? huh?" reminds me of my dad lol. the huge ass in the mood for love framed poster he got me (which he supposedly lugged on stage along with all his gear) can be moved someplace new in a few years :D

happy 18 months, and many more to come!

2008-08-27T00:45:00.003+08:00

::listening to "ice cream" by sarah mclachlan::

the sound of silence

sitting here alone at night listening to random music again. sometimes shuffled music has the most surprising of results. school has started, and i really should start sleeping earlier. i'm taking it slow, reducing the time bit by bit. i should be due to sleep by 2 today. i just function better at night, i dunno why. maybe it's the alone time. i don't need to talk, don't need to respond to anyone. so i meander and drift among blogs and stuff as i listen to music fitting for quiet nights, enjoying being a voyeur of sorts. need to buck up and pull up the gpa. just want to get out and get a good job..

how is it that you can miss someone even though you've just seen him? i miss his little boy hair and his big "man must explain things" moments. he claims that it's important and he always looks extremely earnest. hurhur. most of all i miss his nice warm hands. his reassuring warmth fills me with contentment. wish you were here.

Your love is better than ice cream
better than anything else that I've tried
and your love is better than ice cream
everyone here know how to fight

2008-08-20T00:59:00.012+08:00

::listening to "landslide" by the smashing pumpkins::

hello september

the mood to update/write strikes one at the oddest of times. with me it is often at some ungodly hour- the mood strikes, then i procrastinate and only get down to it at say. 1, 2 am? then i get distracted by some music, or a random article online. so a stupid blog entry can take upwards to 2 hours. i know. i procrastinate. alot. -_- so today i'm blogging because i've decided i've played enough wow and watched enough sappy lovelove movies alone guiltily in my room because boyfriend will probably fall asleep if i force him to watch p&p with me.

i'm having my short and extremely precious holidays right now, and fug i'm already in the last week. just a few more days before i get kicked back into class. been ernestly bumming and sleeping till 12PM everyday, obviously. nothing much really happened, but to sum it up in pictures:

guess who won the powerjams? kkj did! zouk was fun albeit extremely cold. the boys were very happy and i think i saw some tears being shed when they were presented their huge ass cheque. think they looked spiffy that night.. but colin and ianz look very gay cos they were wearing matching outfits. LOL! nvm, cute ma! :x

some spoils of the month: further proof that hmv etc is bad for me and my wallet

death cab at esplanade last week- they were really really gooood. we were on the 3rd floor balcony with jp and pris, and could see the stage pretty clearly. don't think they would have been as good at fort canning- esplanade acoustics suited them much better. sold out show, masses and masses of people.. there were even people standing outside the reception area with "WTB TICKETS" signs! least decision to catch mono and death cab instead of shelling out for singfest just to watch 1R, mraz and travis was well made- don't regret it despite having to eat grass for abit. wish i could have caught the 3 bands mentioned though..

fangirl moment!! mono played one night only at zouk, and what a night it was. was damn excited cos i never thought i would get to see mono live, much less in singapore. my favouritest jippun post rawwkkk guitarersss! they were right, mono gigs are bloody intense. easily one of the best gigs i've ever been to. they removed all the mics when it was their time to play- and they just walked on, picked up their instruments, and played. they didn't say a single word to their audience, they just played their hearts out. and no words were needed indeed.. audience just lapped it all up. surreal. band was really tight, and all the guys were oogling tamaki the hot basser chick. but obviously i digs yoda and taka.. especially taka! :D

i love the deliver and speak through your music approach. no bullshit!

the omgwtfbbq setlist that was taped on taka's board and later ninja-ed by someone.. lol. had our ticket stubs and cds signed- i really like the tickets! being a ticket horder (.. i sometimes arrange them by date -_-) my grouse sometimes is that sistic tickets are BORING. no character!

that pretty much sums up everything worth mentioning. maybe will go watch b quartet at esplanade soon :D now i'll just have to try and un-bum myself and get back to the flow of things at school and guitar. :\ i miss the ianz many many but he is extremely busy. want to marathon LOTR or something with him soon on a hopefully not-so-distant weekend. and:

OMG! got to take pic with mono and takaakira. swoon x10. didn't bring camera cos i thought zouk would chuck it, but was saved cos cherie's friend had one. thanks cherie and friend! okay i'm done being starstruck. :D

2008-07-01T01:41:00.001+08:00

::listening to "look after you" by the fray::

spacing out

first day of the second half of sem2. and i'm already feeling so drained. fatigue and mild insomnia. whatever it is- i'm not getting enough sleep. these days the only thing that makes me feel better on a mundane weekday is my ipod. block out all the unwanted noise and politics, and just allow yourself to space out amid the music. it's like the soundtrack of my life. at least i can forget how mundane and repetitive life is- even for awhile.

in happier news, kkj got into the powerjam finals! happy for him. he's always busy with band stuff and work, but it's a commitment- and at least he's going somewhere with it. am also broke because we're going to death cab and mono. guess we couldn't choose between the two in the end. wanted to catch mraz and some other bands in singfest but the ticket price is telling me otherwise. anyone got lobang? lol.

sometimes i wish we had more time- and even in the time we have, i would prefer spending quality time, instead of doing what we sometimes end up doing. maybe i'm not that expressive. will just take it in my stride i guess.. despite your flaws i know you love me. and i really do love you. i know i have my flaws as well. i know. i just kind of miss earlier days when you were happier. things were simpler. this song came up after a long while of not hearing it. i miss you. think i'm just in an emo mood or something. shall go to bed.

2008-06-16T11:56:00.002+08:00

::listening to "life in technicolor" by coldplay::

what ticks

10 things that makes skye happy:

1. a breezy day with blue skies
2. good music coming out of good speakers/earphones
3. a good read- a magazine or a new book
4. indie flicks
5. good food and good company
6. unexpectedly snazzy looking pictures developed the old fashioned way
7. the half smile on the guitar teacher's face when i don't mangle his favourite lick
8. when i hit all the right notes
9. when ian tells me he loves me
10. when he bursts into random songs with that exaggerated expression of his- it makes me laugh

that was unexpectedly easier then imagined- i feel slightly less bummed.
monday blues in spades. a change is in order. anything to switch off the dull hum in my head.
think i'll go read a book and try and forget about the 101 datelines and thesis papers i have due for about 1/2 an hour.

2008-05-23T13:12:00.002+08:00

::listening to "a beautiful mess" by jason mraz::

that song

You are strong but you’re needy,
Humble but you’re greedy

Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they’re quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words that paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging

And through timeless words in priceless pictures
We’ll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that’s no concern when we’re wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it’s nice today, oh the wait was so worth it

it's a beautiful cloudless day with blue skies and i have the day off from school. listening to jason mraz's new album- We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things. great album, one of the few i throughly like so far this year. it's a good day.. better if you were here with me.

2008-05-02T01:58:00.004+08:00

::listening to "aqueous transmission" by incubus::

downtime.

haven't been doing anything much lately but mooching around indoors. just finished end semester exams, and am currently slacking around with unabated glee. savoring the feeling of getting up at 12PM and not feeling guilty about it. have to get round to finishing up driving lessons once and for all, and practicing guitar more. been neglecting practice due to lack of time. need to get off my ass and stop procrastinating.

went to the stereophonics concert on monday. kelly jones really showed up in his signature tan jacket in the sweltering heat. there was like zero breeze and the chap actually wore the fraking jacket from start to end gig. we realized there was giant ass fan at his feet, but wow- talk about tolerance. i'm surprised he didn't faint from all that sweat. was a good gig (DANIELLE YOU MISSED IT =\) with lots of angmohs who had taken it into their heads that it was a picnic-concert- bringing blankets to jump, pirouette and do jumping jacks on, along with giant coolers of booze. the pirouetting and arm flailing obviously escalated to scary heights the more they drank. the acoustic version of maybe tomorrow was sweeeeet. i want that version :( i liked the incubus concert more though. brandon boyd was stellar. he sounds even better live xD want to catch a concert overseas, just for the fun / experience of it. am in love with the haarp dvd by muse. wish i could watch them at wembley. i wonder when they'd be back in sg?

wish i live with ianz. i miss him all the time. some days i don't feel like seeing anyone else but him. anti-social but i'd rather laze around indoors with him watching cable over going out. sigh. guild outing on sat. steamboat! wonder what esoul and co. are like in person? hm. i felt like blogging but whatever i felt like saying was forgotten by the time i got to the dashboard.

I've been down and
I'm wondering why
These little black clouds
Keep walking around
With me
With me

It wastes time
And I'd rather be high
Think I'll walk me outside
And buy a rainbow smile
But be free
They're all free

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

i miss you love. happy anniversary 1 day in advance. :)

2008-02-03T01:51:00.000+08:00

::listening to "paranoid android" by radiohead::

obtuse.

why do we write songs? angst, he says. i completely agree. everyone's angsty. sometimes. don't deny it. not talking about the emo slit wrist shit. i'll admit i probably have more then my healthy share. its the feeling of zoning out while your itunes goes on shuffle. or loops your current album (radiohead's in rainbows being my choice of poison now) of choice. again. and again. and again. everything slows down, your mood fine tunes itself to the music. it changes as the loop skips. its almost a sublime feeling. can be good, can be bad. i guess this is what you get when you listen to too much slow stuff at night. oftentimes sad, sometimes angsty. too much JMT. too much radiohead. too much damien rice. too much sting. too much nick drake, and elliott smith. sometimes i don't know what to do with myself anymore. what should i do? i feel so obtuse. the days pass by so quickly yet so slowly. the people i see, i smile, i wave, i hug. but when i'm alone again in the dead of the night with only music for company, the heaviness bears down like a monstrous weight. i need an outlet, but what?

b-quartet tonight was really good. live music always sounds so much better. while i love the whole outdoor rock concert thing complete with mosh, snapped eardrums and screaming (hello sore throat) as much as the next alt rock/indie/metal loving fan, sometimes an intimate setting with dim lights can be really emotional. didn't enjoy myself so much since concave scream. great music, even greater company. want to go to maroon5 and incubus, but will probably have to choose between one :( and danielle says stereophonics might be coming as well, wtf! they better don't come so soon, damn sian all the nice bands always come at one shot.

i really miss him now. some days he's the only thing that cheers me up. his slow steady breathing as he sleeps next to me. the way he kisses me on the cheek to comfort me when i'm sick. i has the best bf everrr <3 was listening to this silly wombats song yesterday. just in the mood for something unapologetically cheerful.

let's dance to joy division
and celebrate the irony
everything is going wrong
but we're so happy

THAT, is the mentality i should strive towards to, LOL. it's all in the mind, right? if so then- oh yeah baby i'm happy alright!

2008-01-17T16:38:00.000+08:00

::listening to "between the bars" by elliot smith::

zenith

i guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. the nagging thought of uncertainty. so is this the right path? perhaps i'll try again. put an end to unnecessary thoughts, so that i'll know for sure that door is closed for good. i regret. i know it was stupid. it still wasn't easy to hear the resigned i told you so. the last person who should have done it. i don't really know what is it that i want. but in 3 years or so, a new chapter will begin. how would i be like then? i do not know. don't want to make anymore wrong decisions. i just want to find my purpose. a clear path.

school's been good so far. homework's already coming in, but i'm still slacking. as with the rest of the class, lol. doing algebra for the first time in 4 years. at like 830am in the morning. champion. lec's this scottish guy who goes "bombom!" everytime he solves a question. drives L totally insane. i honestly think she'll laugh her lung out soon. heh. tiring though. won't be long till i go thru the week waiting to scream TGIF!!! in ecstatic glee.

been thinking of moving my blog to wordpress or something. maybe i'll do it sometime on a whim. dream theater tonight, and b-quartet really soon. see the danielle, meet some new people :) so i push on. with just music and you to keep me sane.

2008-01-10T02:18:00.000+08:00

::listening to "high and dry" by radiohead::

all my lovin'

orientation is the day after! i'm finally getting off my ass and going back to school. have already decided to dump all pessimistic thoughts and set about having fun. join cca! too bad no hostel. i'll have to fly to NY for that :( get my degree, get a job, get married. so easy right hahahha!

guess which nice sweet person bought me this? we're looking to upgrade our UE's :( poking around audio shops not really good for the pocket. especially when both parties not very good with controlling gas. LOL. the new superfi's do look nifty tho.. someone's birthday coming soon! :P nice person also has two free tickets to DT, which i initially decided to pass on. $95 leh! -_- VIP package more killer. not that big a fan of systematic chaos but i figure they'll be playing some of their usual crowd pleasers :D i roves the nice person deep deep. he accused me of not being appreciative so i'm posting it here for posterity to make sure everyone knows i'm appreciative hurhur!

watch this movie if you haven't! haven't enjoyed a musical movie this much since moulin rouge (though i suspect i will love sweeney todd!). i think the director is genius. she took several of the beatles hits and weaved them seamlessly into a movie. there's even a pseudo hendrix and joplin in a band playing in cafe huh? (cafe wha lol!) and bono busting out i am a walrus! whats there not to like? i especially loved the rooftop gig scene. the actors, alot of them whom are newbies, are spectacular. they sounded so good i went and got the ost right after i stepped out of the cinema. give across the universe a try. all the beatles favourites are still replaying in my head these days. all you really need indeed, is love!

i wanted to put together a resolution list but the mood just all but dissipated. have to start sleeping earlier to adjust back to school time :( agenda of the remainder of the week is to bum indiscriminately and be as big of a pig as i can. no more sleeping till sun shine on my backside sobs. i wonder if there's anything good to drink at chandler's birthday bash. monday marks the end of bum-life as i know it (for almost 1/2 a year lol) so i must play somemore. somehow bumming isn't so much fun anymore when it becomes an agenda. =\

2007-12-19T02:06:00.000+08:00

::listening to "the power of love" by frankie goes to hollywood::

status quo

the new year is almost upon us, i can't help but wonder where all that time went. not many days left to feel christmassy, so make the most of it. excuse to meet up with friends to stuff your face. :) i like the cold weather. air smells more fresh somehow. soon i'll be back in school, and sadly- the end of bumming. orientation's on the 11th. i can't help but feel apprehensive. like what sandra says- when you get the letter its "ZOMG I GOT IN!", but as the days wear on it turns to "blah." all sounds very fan jian but the waiting probably got to me. sg's a small world- i met would be seniors in WoW! last month or so to get my act together and focus on settling down to study. i have mixed thoughts about university because i don't know how it'd be like. my own subconscious expectations of school life which i may or may not already have admitted to myself. i'll try.

these days when not occupied i think of really odd things like death. not thinking about suicide, per se- but talk with some people and some incidents made me think bout it on a personal level. the thought of when will i find my irreplaceable role in life. might write an entry on it when i'm in the mood. thinking about mortality does set many things in perspective. maybe i'm repressed or just have too much time on my hands. vivian says i should go to thailand and plant padi. ..... or cambodia to build a school. soul search, she says. somehow i don't think the idea will sit well with the folks or the boyfriend, LOL. who wants to go thailand plant padi with me?

i could write a list of things i want to accomplish in 2008, there are so many things i want to do. would like to finally look for people to play music with. a fellow classmate was joking that we should form "justin and friends" or "pure nitsuj power" lol. the aforementioned person will probably slap us and give more homework, sigh. as always, we push on! :) whatever the new year brings, i'm sure one thing won't change at least. you're that perennial beacon in the darkness. i loves you ian ho!

postscript: "hiya kids. here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. don't buy drugs. become a pop star, and they give you them for free." (LOL) - billy mack

2007-12-14T02:32:00.000+08:00

::listening to "dance with me" by nouvelle vague::

.h a l c y o n.

came across this video and it reminded me of all those countless french new wave movies we watched in class. i really enjoyed those movies. FNW FTW! Mélanie Pain sounds gorgeous as usual. life should be all about moments like these. =) and i'm glad you're here to share them with me.

Let's dance, little stranger
Show me secret sins
Love can be like bondage
Seduce me once again

Burning like an angel
Who has heaven in reprieve
Burning like the voodoo man
With devils on his sleeve

Won't you dance with me
In my world of fantasy
Won't you dance with me
Ritual fertility

Like an apparition
You don't seem real at all
Like a premonition
Of curses on my soul

The way I want to love you
Well it could be against the law
I've seen you in a thousand minds
You've made the angels fall

Won't you dance with me
In my world of fantasy
Won't you dance with me
Ritual fertility

Come on little stranger
There's only one last dance
Soon the music's over
Let's give it one more chance

Won't you dance with me
In my world of fantasy
Won't you dance with me
Ritual fertility

Take a chance with me
In my world of fantasy
Won't you dance with me
Ritual fertility

postscript: "you strike me as something eternal." - unknown

2007-10-18T02:38:00.000+08:00

::listening to "amaranth" by nightwish::

.r e l i e f.

short update: good news on both our fronts, ian got his nice paying job, and i got into UB! i waited longer then him for my news lor, dang application had to be sent to new york for approval. think i waited for like 2 months plus. but yay i got in! :DD come january i'll no longer be a bum (danielle! :P)! i just discovered that travers AND cheryl are in UB too, and that tanner also applied. and garrick come and tell me he also will apply after he grad. wtf hahahh what an interesting turn of events! bet the bunch of us oldbie neighbourhood kids would never have guessed we would all eventually land in the same university, IN THE SAME DANG COURSE. LOL. would be funny if my bro also decides to hop on the bandwagon. nah low possibility lol.

nice bit of luck there, what with him getting a recommendation and getting to jump interview queue. hurhur. good times ahead. "new beginnings" is apt, it's finally here. now to make use of the remainder of my bum time before school starts. all i've been doing these days when i'm at home is geetaring and playing wow. i think i'm currently fairly addicted. it's the first time i paid for a game ok!

*geek aura* my night elf druid taking the gryphon express xD can't wait to get my dragon!

postscript: "in the closing of the cab door i could hear too many other doors closing. doors in the past, which are gone now, and cannot be reopened." - "closing time", neil gaiman

2007-10-05T01:51:00.000+08:00

::listening to "halcyon (beautiful days)" by mono::

.t h o u g h t.

you finally went and did it. something you said that was against your very person. i wonder what contributed to your decision to finally open yourself up a little more? while i could be vindictive and say "if only he knew", i kind of hope that maybe its a changed you that brought about this. that you'll be happy and laugh at the ridiculous things you said before. amazes me time and again but- it's a small world indeed.

i have this recurring feeling that more often then not of being shortchanged. being taken for granted, like people who don't even utter a word of thanks for my efforts. but its the feeling of disappointment when you realize some people don't take as much effort as you to initiate communication. maybe this is why some friends grow distant, even if they were once close. takes two hands to clap. but i guess quality over quantity is always better.

enough of this depressing talk. a friend of mine recently said that "no news is good news", and that blogging is purely for cathartic release. while i half agree with her, sure enough- i'm not the sort who writes about what i did everyday. inhale, exhale, defecate, etc. but i don't think i want to be angry / emo all the time to want to blog. i want to be overwhelmingly happy and want to blog instead. take note of all the small things in life that make me that much happier, ignore the pessimism and angst for a change. everyone wants to remember the happier things more, don't they?

reminder to self: 1) more guitar 2) study hard. 3) holga 4) driving license 5) trip overseas: discuss 6) the christmas present 6) sleep earlier 8) pick up a sport 9) understanding 10) shop / game when upset

in other news i've obviously updated my blog template. think for the first time since early year2 hahah. easier on the eyes no? am currently addicted to last.fm. great way to suss out more listening material. join and add me ya? =)

something i think about alot.

postscript: "if you're patient, i will surprise" - rachael yamagata, "duet"

2007-10-02T02:33:00.000+08:00

::listening to "ice cream" by sarah mclachlan::

.b r o k e.

i wanted to blog a long and lengthy post today. i even thought of what i wanted to write before i went to bed. i tossed and turned. when i was finally done with thinking the brain finally switched off. and i woke up having forgotten most of what i wanted to write because well. sleep tends to do that to you. and when i decided to get down to it when i got home, i got sidetracked by WoW. omfg, i exclaimed to my bemused neighbor, the 10 day free trial can download online meh!! sorry i know i very slow... 2nd expansion pack want to come out already, then the skye want to play. =( so. i'm now left with perhaps 20 minutes before i should hop into bed. it's actually like already past my bedtime, so i'll make it short!

... actually there's nothing much to report since i last blogged. i watched my first ever r21 film legally! hoho. i swanned in with the boyfriend as if i've been watching r21 for the nth time. they didn't even check my IC la! grown up aura. hurhur! planet terror was very good incidentally. stylized b-grade movie goodness :D so much better then the other r21 flick i watched in the cinemas illegally. the one with alot of hairy ding dangs :( AND- timbre is disgustingly expensive, note to self; only eat finger food and pizza. do not bother with the mains! yes that is all, and last but not least:

hello gorgeous!

yes, hello seymour duncan pickups (which i waited a whole bloody month for!). and byebye $170. wallet is weeping softly. but they are so worthhhh ittt :D :D much thanks to the personal tech boy for putting them on and saving me from spending more money. what i'd do without him, heh. i dunno how i'm going to part with 1.6k in the near future if i'm like angsting over a paltry... "paltry" $170. argh.

on a random note i'm falling in love with mirrorball all over again.

Your love is better than ice cream
better than anything else that I've tried
and your love is better than ice cream
everyone here knows how to fight

i loveee her voice. and this song is cute. heh. good night!

postscript: "i think.. i would rather recollect a life mis-spent on fragile things then spent avoiding moral debt." - neil gaiman, "fragile things"

2007-09-26T01:06:00.000+08:00

::listening to "transparanoia" by something for kate::

.a l t, a l t, a l t.

the old maid, after a big ruckus and a couple of misadventures later, has been sent packing home. which is all good, except for the fact that we are now maid-less for 2 weeks. well. we're in our 2nd week actually. the new maid will finally come next week. then everyone can heave a sigh of relief. end of eating take out, and not being able to go out before finishing the chores. for me, it is namely ironing and washing. cos well, the mum doesn't trust the bro with the clothes. "wait he burn my blouse how?" were her exact words. can't say i blame her for that. 2nd week of ironing the mountain of clothes (people who no need to iron change clothes like no one's business! because not he iron ma!) and i am sick and tired of doing more then my share of the chores. all my commitments and activities are like disrupted. being the ever dependable eldest child, if the bro raises a stink guess who's the fall guy? no prizes for guessing.

accidentally burnt myself on the arm today and oddly its taken on this almost perfect, symmetrical anvil shape. dang. was wailing about being disfigured and getting a tattoo on it if mark doesn't go off and semi-unsympathetic boyfriend tells me to put some ointment on it and stop being paranoid. hahah i think he has a point. -_- speaking of which he bought me a giant bag of rations after jam. presumably to cheer me up cos i was grumbling thru sms and probably probably drove him up the wall. he even bought me hello panda. i think he's disgustingly sweet. am like so not used to all this nice treatment. thinking of buying him dinner next time. on a random note i keep having this re-occuring dream of marutama's delicious egg. i appear to be morphing into a giant pig. my mum was even commenting that we probably spend most of our time eating good food. she's not really wrong.. heh.

tagged meme from darius. was initially lazy to do it but i'm bored now and have time to burn =/ some insight bout me:

Where was I one year ago?
in poly. skivving, sleeping in the lecture halls, complaining about production budget, bitching.. after all that's been said and done, we really had some good times. making more friends as the cohorts merged was one of the high points. met people like the Danielle, whom i prolly would never have talked to if she wasn't in my class. cos she got the black face syndrome. just like me! :D

Where was I five years ago?
sec 4 i think? easing out of my jrock music fling, and as always, snoozing in social studies. hanging around after school to play soccer and basketball, monkey around our hallowed corridors (which have been like, demolished, btw -_-) and copy homework. lol. and all the loitering at the airport. mrt used to be so cheap then. i also realised how far apart my thinking was from most of my schoolmates in my final year. which is why i only retain a small number of friends there. sometimes i wish i studied harder. heh.

Where was I ten years ago?
in primary school. quite the over achiever. track team, bball and the sort who would get pissed off from getting a 99 in english. i also prolly used up all my study mojo which explains my lack of drive in sec sch. i also met yuying, my oldest friend in pri sch. we've known each other since we were 4.. so that makes 17 years we've been friends. time really does fly =)

*************************

My ex is someone i thought i knew. the letter D would sum it up nicely, but we did have our good times. thanks for the memories, however fleeting.

Maybe I should pick up an extreme sport. our sport of choice appears to be stuck at "lounging on the couch". heh. oh! or buy a big sweep ticket! learn from danielle. mai yi ge xi wang, you know?

I love playing the guitar, live music, watching movies, cable cars, good food, traveling, the list goes on and on. oh and mr ho of course! =p

I don’t understand men. they are so bloody weird sometimes, i have trouble believing they are from the same planet as us. though they probably have the same sentiments towards us women.

I lose control of my emotions sometimes, but it usually isn't evident. in part due to my tendency to keep things to myself. the taps turn on much easily during a touching scene at a movie, in a nice dark cinema where no one can see me tear.

People say different things about me, but it usually depends on my mood and who i'm dealing with.

Love is like air, i can’t imagine living without it.

Somewhere, someone is wishing they had a better life.

I will always be me, albeit maybe wiser and a little more different.

Forever is an ideal. romantic but most times not realistic.

I never want to be jaded and cynical to the point that people, and words do not move me anymore.

I think the current US President is funny. due to the number of parodies and digs people make at him all the time. hahah!

When I wake up in the morning, i pancake for approximately 10 minutes. which is why i set my alarm clock 10 mins earlier to the actual time.

My past was enriching in its own way. i don't think i've lived long enough to "look back" just yet.

I get annoyed when people treat me with condescension, as if they're superior to me. also irritating know-it-alls who will NEVER admit their faults.

Parties are for having a good time and catching up with friends.

My dog is non-existent. half of family is allergic to fur. and my dad really didn't fancy a dog scratching up his sofa or pooping on his carpet.

My cat is as non-existent as my dog.

Kisses are fun especially when they are unexpected!

Tomorrow is something i look forward to and anticipate.

I really want to travel the world and immerse myself in different cultures. preferably with the better half or a group of friends.

I have low tolerance for people who are backstabbing, two faced sycophants, who knife you when you least expect it. worse if they look unassuming and friendly.

that was long. i took half an hour to finish it! i tag danielle, ian (ur blog got spiderwebs..), joel, and heck whoever who wants to do it.

was actually annoyed over certain things just now but after doing the meme i've mellowed to such a state that i'm slightly spacing out. itunes also possibly had a hand in it. sad to say most people were right about my decision. was a misjudged one i admit, me being too soft hearted as usual. you don't deserve it. and your recent action and hypocrisy towards the whole issue initially has confirmed it. i somehow don't think you'd ever find anyone you'll love more then yourself. and you.. i finally understand what you meant last time regarding your cryptic comment about your past. you scare me because, i didn't know you were such a person. its kinda like keeping a snake in your backpocket. everyday i learn a little more about you. and it disgusts me.

there. i feel better now. want to get back on track. work towards my future. moping around isn't very good for my mental health i agree. must be all those leftover angst i didn't use up in my teenage years. hoping for a holiday soon. maybe with him or together with a group of friends! could use the diversion from boring mundane singapore. for now i just want to do all the things i wanted to do, before getting thrown back into routine for the next 3 years. but i guess like what people always say about school, it's also a blessing in itself. need to be more optimistic. can't wait to say tgif and enjoy the weekend.

postscript: "my embarrassing admission is I really like that you're nice, right now." - clementine, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

2007-09-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

::listening to "your hand in mine" by explosions in the sky::

.2 1.

i'm finally 21! i can now watch r21 without feeling like a convict! that alone i feel is cause for celebration enough =p i don't feel any older though, but today was a good day. everything from the atas gourmet dining to the flaming mound of ice cream cake to the well wishes and congratulations. am ultra touched with people whom i haven't talked to for awhile actually remembered! might blog about stuff in depth if i'm in the mood in the near future, i just felt the need to blog today since its my 21st and kind of marks the start of a new stage in life for me. and of course, to thank all the nice people who remembered, and bought me totally cool stuff. you know who you all are, i roves you guys muacks! am a blessed girl.

special mention goes to the dear boyfriend ian. this person goes out of his way to make me happy and cheer me up when i'm grouchy, i can't say often enough just how much i appreciate him. everything seems so much brighter with you around. =) thank you for the love and presents, but you should know that your love was the best thing you ever gave me. i roves you deep deep!

postscript: "without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's." -hipolito, "amelie"

2007-08-28T12:47:00.000+08:00

::listening to "just like we do" by eisley::

.s l a t e - g r e y.

it's a dark, grey, and gloomy morning today. i can barely see into the distance amid the pouring rain. this is what we call snuggle weather. perfect for indulging in what probably is our favorite (and most indulged in) past time: snuggling together in bed- channel surfing. or watching rented movies. whatever suits our fancy heh. i know we sound like a bunch of bums hurhur but i think we enjoy bumming around most -_- on days like these when we get the chance to spend the day chilling it's prolly one of the best feelings i've ever had. he says we're getting too much rain these days. i normally like lots of rain but i won't say no to cornflower blue skies either. both aren't fun with him though- so what i'm trying to say is i miss him. i miss you grouchypants!

i have an interview with yb later, wonder who's gonna interview me? from what danielle said, i figure we'd mostly talk about music. my kind of interview :D guess i'll just have fun with it y'know, and see where it goes. if i get the job, i LIKE the job, maybe i can put off studying till first sem of may, again, IF i get into the course. all sounds cool, hopefully things will go my way in september. arguably my favorite month of the year.

digressing. i think i'll prolly take a cab there if this giant rain doesn't let up. it's so dark and cold too. hardly a day for any self respecting person with a choice to be out at all. lalala. i know i'm just shuffling away from the fact that i'm a little lu chi and the weather conditions will probably get me lost AND wet AND of course. disgruntled. wish me luck!

postscript: "the rain, it tumbled down, through the cracks in the sky- which made your hands grow- watch your hands grow" - eisley, "just like we do"

2007-08-13T17:14:00.000+08:00

::listening to "send away the tigers" by manic street preachers::

.b u t a - c h a n!.

was flipping my latest issue of practical photography on the train just now, and guess what i saw?? they were doing a special on wildlife photography. now i'm not big on animal photography, i'm more of a landscape / human interest person- but Bob Elsdale takes the cake! "Bob Elsdale isn't your average wildlife photographer. He's a magician who's able to make elephants fly and pigs brush their teeth, while going to extraordinary lengths to get his shots. Oink oink!"

piggy enjoys snack, hurhur!

then he brushes his teeth like a good pig! check out the grin hahaha!

this is too disgustingly cute for words, i love the toothbrush one HAHAA. can someone buy me a pet pig (another one LOL) for my birthday?? must be equivalent or cuter! off for dinner with my fave person now. <3 am going to sign up for the faculty talks when i get back, #1 resolution for the birthday / year is no more procrastination!

postscript: "melodrama coming from you is about as natural as a oral bowel movement." - randal graves, "clerks"

2007-08-13T01:28:00.000+08:00

::listening to "i will survive" by cake::

.i n t r o s p e c t i o n.

been abit since i last blogged, obviously been up to other more important things (which include mooching and random surfing) and if you actually bought the more important things bit.... hurhur! anyway. been doing nothing much but watching movies when out, and watching heroes / reading / playing guitar when at home. i love hiro nakamura he is so disgustingly cute. HAHAHA. peter petrelli, the other fave character (for obvious reasons may i add, LOL) doesn't even come close.

last four days been eating all sorts of good food, which include sushi tei and crystal jade.. now its back to weekdays, frugal eating is back bah. good times always have this annoying habit of being gone in a flash. watched bourne ultimatum and disturbia, bourne was good as usual- but disturbia was kinda teensy. which my disgruntled movie khaki jumps to remind me that it was my bright idea to watch it in the first place (i thought we could've gotten decent pseudo hitchcock ma....). nevermind we is watch 881 next week ok no disgruntle! highlight of the movies i've been watching lately is cashback though. has been awhile since a movie gave me that eternal sunshine vibe, which coincidentally is a very special movie to me. wasn't as good naturally, cos i think it'd be difficult for another movie to move me as much as esotsm.. but it was good all the same. just like how closer deals with the brutal reality of modern relationships, cashback is kinda like the optimistic kinda whimsically romantic flick that deals with finding the one for you in the oddest and most unexpected situation. speaking of closer, heh- it kinda felt a little like the song 'closer' by travis made into a movie with artsy fartsy tones. haha. i admit i'm a sucker for maudlin sentimentality but le sigh it was gooood and the mood music was just perfect. do yourself a favour and watch it please!

here's the trailer. am bonafide movie whore. i actually spent most of my weekend indoors watching rented dvds. here's a good place to rent, if you're so inclined. they actually offer home delivery so you won't even have to move your lazy arse an inch from your doorstep. they're having a 3 for $10 offer now, very wu hua leh, weekend movie is like what, $9.50 a pop? you get 3 movies for $10, can still split cost with whoever you may wanna watch with. since there aren't any more good movies in cinemas as of now (think i've like watched them all..) this is a pretty damn good option hurhur.

in other happy news, i have decided to go to university, much to the delight of my parents. i realize most of the jobs i'm interested in usually prefer degree holders, and i guess degree holders do have a larger starting pay.. so i'm going to sign up for a degree with the university of buffalo (state uni of ny). must say i'm happy to be studying bit more, more friends to make, can continue guitar lessons, etc. its been a big decision choosing from the different programs, mull and angst over it for so long for fear i'd make the wrong choice. much thanks to the people who have thrown in their 2 cents worth (or 10 cents, lol). going for the faculty talks pretty soon with mr. ho, quite excited haha.

i turn 21 in under a month, and strangely enough this big deal oh my god i'm legal! birthday isn't doing much to excite me. as most know i have never really been the extremely social sort, i take time to warm up to people- so big parties don't really cut it for me. just feel like spending it with close friends and loved ones.. the ones who really matter. think you really do grow wiser as you get older, you learn from your mistakes.. uni will be a chance to try and avoid what went wrong in poly, and poly was a chance to avoid what went wrong in secondary school. maybe at the end of it all i'll be happier and make my transition to a new stage of life with satisfied closure.

i'm all done with the word vomit! just wanted to write down my thoughts somewhere since i tend to be easily distracted and for once i'm not too lazy to blog. hurhur. need to find a job before i actually start studies (again). and get my damn license once and for all -_- i really miss poly life in a way, not the studies, but all the friends. i even miss bitching about 8am lectures and production meetings (LOL). maybe can meet asuka this week, haven't met everyone for 37248 years. i also miss you, you know who you are.. all the time spent together just bumming or talking about random nonsense more then makes up for all the nonsense that transpired in the recent past. what i lost was more then worth it for what i gained in you, so don't let things get you down cos i'll always be there for you. =)

postscript: "once upon a time, i wanted to know what love was. you just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. if you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it." - ben willis, "cashback"

2007-07-24T01:59:00.000+08:00

::listening to "daughters" by john mayer trio::

.w a r m t h.

i've always liked this quote, seen it countless times. it's common, quoted and quoted over and over again; in weddings, greeting cards, movies. but yet it still touches me whenever i see it, as i did tonight, on the cover of the leather bible given to me so many years ago. was shifting my books and saw it sitting there, so i picked it up and flipped through it. i still remember scribbling the quote on the cover so many years ago.

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
- 1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-7

it reminds me of the things i should and should not do, and how love should be. so- does such a love really exist? i like to think so.

postscript: "life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved." - victor hugo, "les miserables"

2007-07-23T00:53:00.000+08:00

::listening to "to be alone with you" by sufjan stevens::

.i a n.

i've been pretty content of late, despite my tendency towards moodiness :D much decision making has been going on these days, many actually concern my future. i'm happy to report that i'm near to actually making them, much thanks to the people who've helped or encouraged me in any way.. with luck soon i can work towards a goal again without having to worry about any uncertainty. will blog more about when i'm in the mood! anyway i just wanted to post this up:

HURHURHUHURHRU!!!1

aunt: ehhh lend me the camera! take pic of all the sun (grandson/granddaughter)!
ian: huh. take pic of sun??? OK! *SNAPS*
aunt: ..... not just this sun
ian: CHEH!

don't ask me why he looks so gleeful LOL then again i like him gleeful. this picture actually made me laugh out loud at the computer haha. maybe you should've tried this look on your dad before you actually bought your dsl, maybe can sponsor? the winning smile combo! hruhrur.

thanks for accompanying me to queue for the HP book, i can't think of anyone who will wake up at 7AM on a saturday morning just to accompany me. all for that owl lol, dunno what possessed me. HEY IT'S FREE OK. AND IT'S BRANDED. -_- thankyewwww emo buddyyyyy you the besttttesttt. thanks for putting up with all my nonsense and for being so patient, and doing the super happy thing to cheer me up when i'm at my grouchiest. but i dedicated a whole damn ass entry to you, are you honoured or what! :D

postscript: "if you had a part of me, will you take your time? even if i come back, even if i die- is there some idea to replace my life?" - sufjan stevens

2007-07-16T11:38:00.000+08:00

::listening to "typical" by mute math::

.c h i p p e r.

it's been a rather eventful week (by my slacker standards anyway lol) and i'm feeling pretty good about myself, cos i've finally stopped procrastinating! lol. first off, i've finally signed up for manual lessons at bbdc! another road hazard to add to the fray, and bukit batok area has been proclaimed a death zone officially haha. insult okaaayyy not all female drivers are horrible! who say death zone somemore i get license already don't drive who hurhur :D have also started to apply for jobs, i actually went for an interview this morning. got up at like 730AM for the first time in yonksss. needless to say was damn grouchy and sulked all the way to the company doorstep before putting on my pseudo happy face to meet the interviewers. LOL. interview went pretty well was over in 15 mins, they were all damn smiley people (.. although i don't see what is there to smile about at 9+ in the morning..) and extremely chirpy that you'd think they were waiting all morning just to see me show my face at the door.

was all hot and bothered and mildly disgruntled bout having to wear corporate wear cos it was an advertising company in the business district.... though i was seriously considering just sauntering in in jeans to the horror of certain people i told lol. was sitting there having this big revelation of "omg i'm going to work soon" aura and thinking about having to wear corporate everydayyyy... when suddenly someone called and cheered me up quite abit. been offered an internship! would definitely accept that one over today's interview despite having to be paid at intern rate for abit just solely for the more comfortable work environment and job scope. internet based as well, means i don't have to go meet clients (or that often anyway) which is good cos my pseudo happy face needs bit of work to up the staying time lol. will just keep looking till i get a job, though prospects look okay at this point. guess the nua period has finally come to an end.. time to work and earn money. used to be so idealistic bout jobs, now you give me 5 day work week, where pay more i work where. haha. time to spend with loved ones with money to spend, not that bad off either.

also went on a little jaunt to ikea with parents on sunday after lunch; dad has mentioned that he wants to renovate my room. YAY. finally! room very small la need bit of rearranging, but excited at the prospect of new storage options / more space to move around! i always say wanna move house but i guess i actually like my location... if only the space bigger haha. dad been looking at new places lately again since the last time he decided not to buy the terrace (.. long story bout the aunty and the feng shui master) and some are actually central which is good, but property market like not very good to buy house now.. so- renovating's the next best option anyway :D lived in the west all my life, suddenly move so far away from here also feel bit weird i guess.

HP movie was the best so far in the series. audience was surprisingly mature and quiet, was kinda anticipating alot of si ginahs screaming "omg its hp! see he's flying on his broom!" type of comments. hurhur. book also out this week, will go down bright and early collect it with my owl. :D mood's not bad now despite being sleepy. i still have guitar later, the teacher's finally back from gallivanting overseas. maybe he'll be in a good mood and not slam me for my recent excess slacking. dinner with mr ho later. seeing your super happy face cheers me up lol. and i'm finally buying the sabbath tickets! ex la. but excited! eventful day, but very possibly extremely fruitful.

***EDIT: some si bian tai cab driver nearly killed me on my way home!! was flooding like no one's business at cityhall so after near 1/2 hour of wait i decided to take a cab. so happens i get a psychotic one, for NO reason whatsoever he swerved in the tunnel and lunga the damn ass wall!! good thing there was NO car behind us or it would've been curtains, and i'd have sued till he qing jia dan chan (assuming i survived, knn!) bloody bugger only gave me $3 off the bill only somemore, which was laughable considering he left the meter running when he was checking out the damage and sitting around calling his company / deciding whether to continue fetching me. PUI! kept hoping to get home fast in case like you know, the cab blows up or something. AM GOING TO COMPLAIN. can buy 4d sia.

in funny news, saw a certain rockstar wannabe after lessons, no wonder justin's brow was already starting to twitch with slight irritation when he looked outside XD have up level, am embarking on lamb of god!! so exciting. :D

postscript: "what is a cynic? a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing." - oscar wilde

2007-07-09T02:06:00.000+08:00

::listening to "communication" by the cardigans::

.c o n f i d a n t.

it's 2 in the morning and the rain is falling.. cold nights are good for snuggles. the cardigans are putting me in a very mellow but kinda pensive mood.. lately i just keep listening to them at nights. relaxes me quite abit.. nina persson is love. least sting and the cardigans aren't as emo-emo as damien rice and the fray right. hurhur. think i'm just a night sort of person, the quiet and peace just relaxes me and somehow i can concentrate better. always bit sluggish in the day.. the heat in particular affects my energy and mood. sigh. this is not really helping my "yay sleep early!" campaign, but least i'm usually sleeping before 3 these days :D improvement no?

anyway, went down to ebenex to get the rg looked at.. oddly enough once beez plug in, GOT SOUND! wtf. beez was joking that people always say guitar got problem, he hold only become no problem, hahah. found it extremely odd cos it wasn't just my cable i tried with, justin tried it with like 3 cables also no sound -_- maybe the rg mood swing? and i woke up so effing early too! good news is i wasn't charged for the 'consultation', money gets to go to the get skye new pups fund. hurhur! also got to look around the area and ebenex itself, been wanting to go take a look anyway. with astons for lunch and good company, can't say the trip was a loss =)

been so oddly lost yet chipper these days, space out more easily and carried away in doing own things that sometimes i forget deadlines and all. maybe i need a PDA but knowing me i prolly need to be cattle prodded to start getting used to it. maybe if it were an iphone it'd be a different story. hurhruhur. need to get down to work on assignments tomorrow. intend to try and clear 1/2 the shit i have to do, procrastinated enough. i'm so tired of class actually, i just want to go to work. sometimes i still have the nagging thought that i should go uni or something you know, "just because". but then i realised it was just for the sake of living up to a certain "standard" or someone else's expectations.... i suppose so long the people who matter understand and know where i'm coming from it's all fine. think it'd take quite abit to change my mind now. just very tired of the inner dilemma issues.

For 27 years I've been trying, to believe and confide in
Different people I've found.
Some of them got closer then others
Some wouldn't even bother, and then you came around
I didn't really know what to call you, you didn't know me at all
But I was happy to explain.
I never really knew how to move you
So I tried to intrude through the little holes in your vanes

i love this song, and it reminds me of you. and how you were always there for me. still are. how you were always willing to listen. thanks love. i don't often say how much i really appreciate you. here's to many more years of this deep connection and friendship (:

owe my good mood to the extremely restful weekend, didn't go to town for once and spent most of it watching live earth and random tv programs. and eating. lol. am certified couch potato. am going to try to do more work / maybe even exercise abit this week. hurhur. looking forward to harry potter this week! and possibly the prospect of good food =D

postscript: "I'll never really learn how to love you, but I know that I love you through the hole in the sky." - the cardigans, "communication"

2007-07-03T00:37:00.000+08:00

::listening to "televators" by the mars volta::

.c l o c k w o r k .

first off- arghaghahgh!! my rg just quit on me, apparently wire loose or something.. and it was just working fine last night! sigh playing what i'm playing now on a strat is total blah. justin prodded it abit in class when it refused to work, thinking it was the loose jack.. but nooo it wasn't. he couldn't see the trouble even after opening it up.. and said it looked perfectly fine, so shouldn't be much of a problem. told me to send it off to beez. -_- sian spend money again. and ebenex is at bloody east coast. suppose will plod on down soon to get it fixed. mumble mumble. gripe of the day. i am -broke-.

anyway day started off favourably enough, i slept early for a change (*sparkles proudly*)- a feat that proved bloody difficult to accomplish. at 2AM, no less! lol. danielle was saying must sleep by 3 end up we sleep at 4+ that kind. got in extra mooch time cos lesson was pushed back an hour, and sauntered down all in good time. felt damn good no need to rush around like mad woman. hurhur. me and bro are like the only students today, and i'm spaced like 3 hours away from him.. so i got like 1.5 hours, possibly more, with the teach. am psyched, even though the arm is not. we were talking bout the emo / screamo surge these days and agree that its mostly shite, everyone just jumps right on the bandwagon with this sort of things. going to black sabbath! he was saying his friends got him tickets without even asking him, LOL. funeral for a friend and that is going to set me back quite abit. i need a job.

speaking of jobs, surprisingly i got a few job offers in the last few days and am still considering. i want my effing course to finish NOW so i can go get my ass to work. 2 days of night classes can be very din dei, what if OT or i damned tired want to go home and snooze? have more or less decided to just start working rather then continue studies, its like 4 years of spending money and time. you're right, our field counts more on experience anyway.. so i should just start climbing the ladder. right. earn money. get my driving license. time to ease back into moderate monotony of routine, hopefully i'll enjoy it.

nothing on much these days but RFW, atmosphere was rather insane. biggest mosh ever seen with local musicians, some people were even trying to imitate a miniature wall of death. -_- i personally think some of them like there for the mosh only and not the music. haha. just nice the first 4 bands were the bands i came to watch, so i siamed right after. good live music = i is happy camper. watched transformers and the girl who leapt through time over the weekend. both were very good. most would prolly be rushing to watch transformers, but give the girl who leapt through time a chance and catch it if you can... was touching and funny. FIRST even gave it 5 stars. now i'm just waiting on harry potter! book and movie coming out back to back, can't help being bit excited =P free owl, gloria!

was noodling around postsecrets yesterday and saw many good ones.. this being one of my favourites. it looks so tentative and vulnerable, like a question you want to ask but it just won't come out properly. sometimes small things cheer me up, like a simple 'hey' and a pat on a shoulder (thanks), a friendly face who talks to you like we have all the time in the world. just had one of those nifty epiphanies today, i'd just be optimistic and try my best. think i'll go sit in bed now and continue jonathan strange. maybe this sleeping early thing can actually have a shot at becoming a habit!

postscript: "and there never was an apple, in adam's opinion, that wasn't worth the trouble you got into for eating it." - neil gaiman, "good omens"

2007-06-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

::listening to "fluorescent adolescent" by arctic monkeys::

.a u l d l a n g s y n e.

3 years at ngee ann poly's film, sound and video has finally ended.. the class of '07 had our graduation today, and it was quite emotional to say the least. i don't think many of us cared about the silly looking "baker" robes (LOL) or the ceremony itself much, we were mostly just happy to see each other and our lecturers after so long. seemed like just yesterday we walked these halls as freshmen, but now we're all grown up, with most old grudges and quarrels put behind us. this is an awww moment! you may sniffle a little if you like but don't be so conspicuous. =P

first picture of the day, on my camera at least.. with suka and wendy! haven't really gotten into camwhore mode yet and i look a little grouchy hurhur. we camwhored for like nearly 2 hours after the ceremony tho. was starting to get tired even from all the running around and screaming "YOU!!! TAKE PIC WITH ME!" wendy chui style lol.

the whole graduation ceremony was quite grand actually, open the booklet can see rows and rows of atas sponsors. hahah! i feel bit cheated though cos from all the cam whoring i forgot to eat the buffet!! arghahgahhgh! then again we were cam whoring also to get our money's worth from the grad robes' rent ma! -_- anyway. the lecturers all looked verrrryyy spiffy, chandler looked like a rockstar, ms morisette was horribly pretty *_*, etc etc. pictures!

vinod, the man of the hour! our media law lect and soon daddy-to-be received a standing ovation (the biggest and wildest in fact) when he went up on stage to be awarded one of the outstanding teacher awards, selected by us fms students. he's one of the lecturers i'll be missing! always enjoyed his classes and warm demeanor. i can still remember wendy and joyce swooning over his *coughs* chest hair. and envisioning him in red speedos when he mentioned he likes swimming. perverts! =P

chandler is HOT AND SEXY today like rawk star!!! he's grown his hair out and DIG THAT GOATEE LOL. who take this pic one huhh so no skill lighting so horrible but i lazy to tweak??? nevermind i know got other people's cams with nicer lighting, send please! got one solo shot with him but i don't want to share. HAHAH! <3

pat wong! i lurveee pat wong cos of his uberr niceee voice. he likes sting and he doesn't sing half bad himself hurhur. i think it helps that someone as intellectual and quirky as him teaches writ comm which can be a VERY annoying and dry module. and he doesn't scold me even when i fall asleep in the front row, but instead just prods or kicks me awake -_-

did i mention that i love pat wong? =p

douglas used to be everyone's fave korean carebear, but since then he's become so slim i can't even recognize him anymore. i've never seen him get angry before and he's prolly the reason i didn't flunk stu pro practical. and i miss his silly random korean clip viewing in class. hahaha!

slim carebear but carebear all the same!

leonard yip is my ah beng brother and he doesn't mind if i swear in class. haha! i always somewhat regretted not opting for IBP (well the stint at showmaker's didn't really help) but i'm glad i got to take advanced film under his tutelage. remember us in year 1 being all gloomy after ending storytelling techniques with him and knowing that its either get into AFP or no more leo yip for the rest of our time here! he was the top boy of fms and the whole of np in his time, making him essentially our senior and truly one of us indeed.

chinboo is like the fatherly figure amongst our lecturers (xiaokang's fave, lol) and he's always very concerned about all of us despite being very long winded sometimes heh. he means well and was always nice to me.. was my advisor twice in a row lol. think attachment in particular was trying for him with the whole showmaker's hoo-hah. like people say next time want to hear him nag you also no chance le. heh.

have some others of melanie morisette and millians, but they're in other cams so.. haha! was good to see all the lecturers after so long, abit sian that i cannot fall asleep in their classes anymore! lol. some pictures of us-

the pseudo wanzi pose. hurhur!

me mich and asuka. no more need be said =)

my bitch mich! =P eh i really miss your bitching non stop, today its like you very long never kaobei store power then one shot all let out. LOL.

birthday boy mehmeh! hurhur. soon that top-boy-calibre-brains going to be unprotected cos people is going army tmr. i needs botak pics!

more stupid funny faces and an extremely hyperactive wendy chui

guess who i bumped into there? =P pearl! so long not meeting and only seeing each other by chance on graduation day. hahah! i miss you you know? irony cos afterall you're just from mass comm and not really that far away.

one last group pic for the night!

ok am very tired and lazy to ul more, hurhur. still have a gazillion more photos to leech from including dad's dslr. our stupid pointing to the sky and act-throwing invisible hats (wendy's brilliant idea) is in there. LOL! can't believe we've graduated! i still self proclaim is student status hahaha. am very proud to be an fms alumnus and soon our bb will have pin ups of chandler :D fsv oy!

postscript: "synchronicity makes people meet each other." - carl jung

2007-06-10T14:28:00.000+08:00

::listening to "smile like you mean it" by the killers::

.w i t c h i n g.

had loads of fun at rock the sub yesterday, didn't regret going despite the blazing sun. digressing- the weather is just disgusting. hot today cold tomorrow. never sick is fake one! anyway, trooped there after makan and stopping by clairvoyant. charles says that the symX album will prolly be in next week and he'll sms me once its in! hurhurhur! can't wait.

turn out at the substation was pretty good, the time we were inside the crowd size more then doubled. firefight was realllyyyy good. i loveee his tele deluxe. can buy for me pls? please please please! hurhur. saw quite a number of familiar faces like alicia, stephy, jan and james, etc etc. was quite enjoyable despite the aircon seemingly having broken down (darkness and sweat stained stuffiness is not fun) but was quite sian to see THAT person, still got gall to come and act friendly lol! fuck off please.

stuck around timbre to eat pizza and catch the love experiment (sleaze rock? -_- LOL) and heritage. heritage is lao jiao powerrr. the guitarist got mojo. the frontman is king of miscellaneous instruments hahaa! dang whole band very tight and oozing mojo. ohmygad! fave of the set was probably voodoo chile. reminded me a little of the queerworms jam. was so caught up with the music that i forgot to ask to take pics. -_- wanted to catch plain sunset with ian but the buggers playing at 12am. didn't want to spend money on cab so decided to go back earlier catch the train. bah. danny and joel managed to catch them after we left, i think joel quite boozed up after the whole thing, the raging alcoholic. speaking of which the free heineken hen nan he. ian say cos i've been so used to erdinger and hoegaarden spoilt already. HAHA.

anyway, got tickets to the rock for wayne concert. for those who still aren't in the know, wayne thunder of the suns (boredphucks might ring a bell more?) passed away recently, and the last event he was working on (rock for good) has been changed into a tribute concert for him and renamed rock for wayne. it's for a good cause (proceeds go to his family and funds for the local music scene), and the lineup looks really promising. even humpback oak is reforming for this event! i think my ticket price already worth it just for humpback oak. hurhur. lots of people going, let me know if you're going! think danielle selling tickets, can get from her. =p

postscript: "i got soul, but i'm not a soldier." -the killers, "all these things that i've done"

2007-06-09T00:46:00.000+08:00

::listening to "the sacrifice" by symphony x::

.g r a v i t y.

what wendy says is true, holidays always go by so quickly and you won't get enough of it till a largeeee amount of time goes by. haha. i'm still not out of the mooch mood quite yet.. despite having classes and assignments to keep myself occupied. basically all i do these days are read, play guitar, do homework, sleep- repeat cycle. very no life hor. lol. prolly will set about looking for a part time job sometime next month.. giving myself just that bit more of time to nua and indulge in my "i'm-still-a-kid" fantasy of not having to work. and i think one of my modules will be shifted down so the study days aren't that weird, so i can erm better bargain for non weird working hours. haha.

life's headed for a change, to say the least.. live and learn is what they always say, so much for being nice. things i've never said being stuffed into my mouth, just people happily adding condiments to their own version of the story. i've learnt to ignore, just particularly disappointed with two people.. won't mention names but- hey, i thought we were stronger then that. especially you. i don't know just what you did, but you probably contributed a fair bit to this giant mess. thanks, "friend". and thank you, for all the memories. i sincerely wish you all the best, and hope you can be happy. isn't it odd how two people can be close today, and strangers tomorrow? "only in books and movies", she said. wrong, it's happening right here. so which to bury, us or the hatchet? only time will tell.. and i'll just keep myself busy and distance myself from all this.

been going down to the shop to help out quite abit cos parents have been having trouble hiring new help.. damn sian also cos i get disgruntled with no net or snail net / when i have no one talking to me, online or in person. roar. mum just asked me whether i could go down on sat which i said no i have something on.. felt bit guilty but hai been down just yesterday and am tired and disgruntled and i want a break to kick off and relax..... let the bro do it for the change i say -_- hopefully they find someone good then i can don't go down liao... very tiring z. money's not easy to earn..

anzel my old neighbour just sent me pics of her new house. wah lau very nice got koi pond at the verandah somemore! dad strike toto is it hurhur. me is a litttleeeee bit jealous cos she had same tiny study room like mine and now upgrade to big ass room. money moneyyy... next time must earn comfortable income cos there's nothing worse then worrying bout money shortage. no money also can cause general sian-ness and quarreling also ma =/ thought of going overseas to go to uni, can go there start something new and not see some fuckers' faces for a change.. but the more i think about it, it's kinda like a long vacation also, money out only never come in. would be better if i start climbing the ladder sooner right?? and there are things i don't feel like leaving behind, people i'd miss.. still deciding on uni issues. i'm someone who loves routine in the general part of her life, i like things like say my house and surroundings to remain the way i like it, everything at where i know where to look and find.. so if i settle down at some other country for study i prolly wouldn't feel like coming back. like running away. well maybe i'll do that when life next fucks up? maybe to the maldives where i can fish for a living or something. sian then come back, hurhur. oh well.

been watching lots of movies to cheer myself up lately, just watched zodiac the other day (.. which oddly, appears to be already closing.. after just a week! -_- kns pay $10 for a stupid weekday movie!) which was pretty good.. deserved its 4.5 stars rating. ocean's 13 next up! loads of movies coming up, and am excited and can't wait to watch them all. movies have therapeutic effect on me much like books. speaking of which i have to go down to kino one of these days to buy some books at the sale. GSS making me gian to go shopping but am quite broke. lol. symphony x's latest album "paradise lost" is TEH SEX. i must say i am certain i will get my hands on a copy veryyy soon. mind blowing as usual, michael romeo never fails. they whipped megadeth and dt's latest efforts so soundly they prolly don't know what hit them, hurhur. new cds/dvds and tshirts make skye a happy camper. wah lau very long and sporadic blog post. well at least when i do actually return to blog its longgg (okay maybe due to the fact i multi task and my brain wanders off elsewhere hence the random-ness) unlike SOME people! been blogging abit at LJ tho not much also la. haha. cough coughs. feel like gaming. cnc or granado espada? i scared they suck up all my time. think don't play better... sigh. in other news funeral for a friend is coming to town XD yay. when will maiden ever come? prolly'll give jet a miss to catch them instead.

it's saturday! good music and an opportunity to mooch elsewhere. arguably my favourite day of the week. =)

postscript: "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." - keyser soze, "the usual suspects"

2007-04-26T15:41:00.000+08:00

::listening to "sonny" by funeral for a friend::

.c o n s i d e r.

mooching around at home again hurhru. getting bit sick of waiting for hmv, its been bout a week. bro tells me that they can take effing long, took em 2 weeks to call him. i called in today and they say that usually they will put applications on hold till processed, whatever that means -_- and told me to sit tight, that they'll call soon. applications were actually supposed to be mailed, but i did mine on the spot.. when i went back in, the chap at the table was a different dude.. told me to mail the application! damn bo liao cos i was like already there right. good thing the guy at the side recognized me and told me to leave it with him instead. roar pek chek! how long does it take to process a stupid application??? -_-| the good news is i think the pay's bout $6-$8 an hour which isn't bad.. i give them another week before going to 1) re-apply, or 2) kino. hahah. kino pays $7/hr but their uniform is damn weird ass. plus some of the shelvers bin damn chao like someone just burnt down their house and killed off their entire family. araghaghagh. now- i'm perfectly content mooching around at home playing the guitar and reading my mountain of fiction, but i've been buying all kinds of shit and i need money! and i think mooching around at home too much can't be that healthy right hahaha. anyway more memes for your reading pleasure and for me to kill my boredom:

16 Random Faves

1) brand of facial products? clinique, 3-step!
2) brand of perfume? hugo boss or issey miyake
3) hair styling products? gatsby~ gatsby~ gatsby~ gatsby~
4) type of dress? er dunno.. pinafores?
5) cut of jeans? skinnys or cigs pls! NO BOOT
6) brand of tshirt? american apparel
7) brand of sneakers? converse forever!
8) type of outerwear? hoodies.
9) type of accessories? leather cuffs, simple chains
10) fave booze? erdingers
11) radio channel? class 95, best mix of music
12) brand of bottled water? evian
13) fave author? neil gaiman
14) place to chill out? timbre or similar
15) currently reading? fragile things, neil gaiman
16) currently listening to? travis- closer.

the meme somewhat made me kinda hungry..

drool. okonomiyaki, cha soba and thin crust pizza. brian and i want to eat timbre pizza now please. i'd post more pics but then i would be highly dissatisfied with dinner later if i did. try not to eat or lick the monitor.

classes have started, things aren't bad so far. i kinda like anthon kiong hhaha. now i just need a job to fully utilize my week. else i'm totally capable of mooching my remaining days away hurhru. i'm a bum sobs. jet's coming to town, who's going? sabbath is supposedly coming later this year, would be cool XD dio! maybe lamc'd bring in more bands. i need a fucking job damnit. people ask me where i get so many quotes. well thru reading people. read more! it's actually very entertaining hurhur. today's quote made me giggle abit. =p

postscript: "for safer sex, i put a tissue over the receiver when you call." - "the calendar girl dailies", danielle pafunda

2007-04-12T01:18:00.000+08:00

::listening to "glory" by kamelot::

.k a r m a.

describes me fairly well.

I am free verse,
and know the rules,
and use them -
when they suit me,
which admittedly
tends not to be the case.
Authority,
tradition, laws;
very much not
my sort
of thing,
I fear.
Perhaps, on occasion,
I go too far in the opposite direction,
and shun the accepted merely because it's accepted,
accepting its opposite merely because it isn't;
but since it's clearly
better that than
being normal;
well,
why
not?

What Poetry Form Are You?

free verse i am.. kinda knew the answer before i even took the quiz. haha. or perhaps a triolet:

If they told you I'm mad, then they lied.
I'm odd, but it isn't compulsive.
I'm the triolet, bursting with pride;
If they told you I'm mad, then they lied.
No, it isn't obsessive. Now hide
All the spoons or I might get convulsive.
If they told you I'm mad then they lied.
I'm odd, but it isn't compulsive.

What Poetry Form Are You?

interesting huh. probably describes the anal side of me =P

thoughts are filled with doubt again, but with me, i suppose i can't say anything new. i've always been indecisive pertaining to decisions regarding myself, about whether i'm making the right choice. the idea is to set your mind at it and just forge onward i guess. end of the day, you can only rely on yourself. and yourself alone.

who will trade his karma for my kingdom
a sacrificial rite to render truth
the fire in my soul rejects my wisdom
cause all you do in life comes back to you.

***UPDATE - just a shout out from charles from clairvoyant records, if by chance dragonforce is ure cuppa tea:
Exclusive DRAGONFORCE concert promotion at Clairvoyant Records Store. Buy the concert ticket here and get any Dragonforce cd of your choice free! Whilst stocks last. Please forward this news to your friends. Rock on! \m/

heh yeah well. not that big into df cos i hate herman li. but well if 10 of you guys buy and get an extra free ticket + cd.. i don't mind! HAHAH *cheapskate aura* aight, ask me if you dunno where clairvoyant is =) they're closed sundays.

postscript: "of all affliction taught a lover yet, 'tis true the hardest science to forget." - "eloisa to abelard", alexander pope

2007-04-09T00:20:00.000+08:00

::listening to "nobody move, nobody get hurt" by we are scientists::

.r a n d o m.

just cos i'm bored - here's a meme from joel. what better way to entertain yourself by answering random questions? lol. self convincing but anyway:

***UPDATED to prove am not lazy slob
random facts (5) about skye (insert own name)

friends (skye thinks that..)
most random friend: joyce poh
most dodgy friend: ian ho (i'd say jojo but he's mostly unsavoury =x)
most eloquent friend: danny lee
richest friend: wow. tough call!
most mischievous friend: JOEL TAY, also the most un-sexy (screw you understand! HAHA!)
most bimbotic friend: michelle yeo *smacks ass* :D
most laid-back friend: prolly no one's as laid back as chandler -_-
most respected friend / teacher: justin ho. -gryns-

habits and preferences
brunette or blonde? dark hair and dark eyes please
idea of good time? lazing in bed with the better half doing 1) watching tv / movie 2) listening to music
chill out? pub with good music and good company pls
coffee or tea? usually tea.
intellectual or sporty? intellect is teh sex

the birds and the bees (coughs ahem)
frenching or the innocent peck? frenching *gryns*
outdoor sex? ......
facial hair? stubble might be sexy. LOL
shower tryst? hmmmm :D
mood music? yes please. or maybe the tv? HAHAH

partner preferences
fat or thin? middle? lean probably.
glasses- sexy or not? frames man. frames. hrurhur
opposites attract? most definitely not
the intellectual SNAG or the hunky jock? the quirky intellectual geek snag pls.
describe in one word your ideal / current partner: affectionate :)

the arts
genre of movie? indie flick
type of book? quirky / fantasy
genre of music associated with most? hard rock or metal? :D
play any instrument? guitar and piano
secret shame (movie, book or music, pick 1): since i'm nice, 1 of each.. bimbo chick flicks like mean girls (LOL), dodgy bimbo books like "diary of a manhattan callgirl" (AHAHA), music er... don't have leh. not like the ian ho and charlie kwan who listen to spice girls. :)

foodies yay!
fave type of cooking? currently jap which is not wallet-friendly
intimate dinner or group dinner? intimate dinner.
spicy or mild? depends? usually spicy
fave drink? ocha or earl grey
most adventurous food ever eaten? errrr not very adventurous. sashimi? HAHAH

5 random facts to round up this stupid meme
1) skye would like a nice candy apple red guitar please
2) skye is very interested in photography and graphic design (and would like a new DSLR and supersampler pls)
3) skye is currently in the bad habit of listening to sad emo music at night ala damien rice but is loving it
4) skye needs a hug and some nice soba
5) .... skye is obviously extremely bored.

ok i lazy to do already. sherie is addicted to doing this nonsense EVERY WEEK hahaaha. apparently theres some website that updates the questions weekly for you to do to ease your boredom -_- hokaaay. i guess that entertained me for bout 10 mins. whoever's reading this has to do this pointless meme. *winning smile*

just got back my newly zhng-ed strat and wah it looks more shagadelic HAHAHA. then i suddenly wanted for a red guitar. candy apple red to be specific. drool. okay random. life's starting to get clearer every day. i want to work at it and be happy. sent FIRST an email this aft, maybe i'll get a job? hurhur. we're also going down to sign up for vroom lessons on tues. pls look both ways before crossing the road cos there are new hazards like us appearing everyday :D esp mr ian ho, pls don't appear suddenly then we excited stomp the accelerator. HURHURHRU. i shall go back to being bored now.

postscript: "welcome to the suck." - troy, "jarhead"

2007-04-05T14:31:00.000+08:00

::listening to "9 crimes" by damien rice::

.r o o t l e s s.

lately it feels like i've been standing at the edge of a cliff. looking at it both ways, it either means i'll be shattered on the rocks, or i could dive deep into freedom. it's a new beginning of sorts- i'm at one of those irritating crossroads of my life again. deja vu. its all thats on my mind now these days, what course to take, what direction to go. decision is more or less set now, thanks for all those who helped me make my decision, one way or another. going to lasalle next week with joyce and steph to check out the courses. full time is errr probably improbable, considering the sch fees only ah sia kias can pay comfortably. am hoping for maybe some part time course thing thats relevant in area of interest, we'll see. am going to work hard towards my goal, hone the skills and build the portfolio. maybe when the brian lee come out from boot camp we can do business. LOL. will probably be attending two courses i'd be signing up for alone afterall, maybe with luck i'd sign up for something with the girls eventually. i guess it'd be a chance to make new friends and do something about my infamous un-sociable-ness. hah.

grad dinner and mos possibly after this sat, hopefully we'd all have a good time yeah. haven't seen some of the classmates in abit, am missing the certain few in particular. good chance to catch up and all. was wondering what the dress code is like? dunno about mos tho, i'm not into the grind your body against random stranger thing (well unless if it's johnny depp or similar hurhur). but the skye is will go if there is free booze *gryns* i'm a cheapskate but oh well hahaa! now that we don't see each other everyday i hope everyone keeps in touch.. the word "graduation" has such a tone of finality to it haha. afterall we walked down the same path together and it takes quite abit of luck to cross paths.

it's a small crime and i got no excuse
and is that alright yeah?
if i give my gun away when it's loaded
is that alright yeah?
if you don't shoot it how am i supposed to hold it
is that alright yeah?

damien rice is like easy listening for the emo nights hahaha. addicted to this song now. am so going to buy the album so i can emo everywhere i go -_- haha. things seem bent on change now, even the people around me are going through similar changes. i hope that once things settle down it'd stay the way it is permanently. no more changes. i just want things to stay the way it is. i guess i have it better then some people. i have my whole life ahead of me to go in whatever direction i please.. what's with a few decisions huh? i'll just cherish the things i have all the more. want to eventually see that light at the end of the tunnel getting closer.. and have someone waiting at the end to give me a hug. i miss my friends, you know who you are.

postscript: "brevity is the soul of wit." - polonius, "hamlet"

2007-03-30T01:59:00.000+08:00

::listening to "hush" by concave scream::

.c h a n c e.

been bumming about and throughly enjoying myself lately. normal day usually consists of waking at 11, eat, laze around, read and watch tv, random surf and play guitar. if i'm not out. LOL i'm a loser! and fucking lazy to boot. been reading alot and starting to really get down to picking out a direction to go. been having second thoughts bout trying for a uni, since its 4 years and really alot of money... i'd be like what, 25 or so when i grad?? been thinking of just going ahead and taking the courses i've short listed and gain on the practical side of things, and start building the portfolio. considering ADM also requires portfolio its kinda like a win-win situation? guess i could still try for it next year if i feel like it. after much deliberation have finally decided that photography and graphic design are my main areas of interest, so have decided to just go down that route and see what i can do with it. about damn time- i took long enough to decide. was always confused and irritated with the choices i have to make, due to hesitance over possibilities and fear of making the wrong choice. now that i've decided it makes things somewhat easier. with luck maybe i can just get on with it and start climbing the corporate ladder asap. being the hedonist i am i would prefer to have a comfortable salary thank you very much. LOL.

don't really have much else to say (or at least in public), life going through changes and twists- can't complain about the drama cos at least life isn't as mundane yes? i need another holiday like NOW, preferably to the maldives. who wants to elope with me? can get married and just bake in the sun till we're 50. would be awesome. would also settle for shacking up in a loft like apartment. thinking of space like essential brew's at holland v! i kinda like the idea of a big space, living area and bedroom combined.. aye i think i just want a new room and a place to call my own. would probably then never show my face outside except during weekends. LOL. yes skye is lazy. random thoughts. me and joyce are talking about moving out together. muahaha. i need money. maybe i can strike toto and live happily ever after. i wish. am stoned and zoned out and need some drive and purpose in the life. take control!

Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

what's it bout you that makes me the way i am? love pulp fiction. quote's quite true isn't it? i feel the same as well. am going to watch concave scream tomorrow. i can't wait. sean's voice just gives me the shivers.

postscript: "let's never come here again because it will never be as much fun." - charlotte, "lost in translation"

2007-02-28T01:57:00.000+08:00

::listening to "look after you" by the fray::

. i n t a n g i b l e.

so i went to taiwan for the new year to visit the relatives and to stuff my face. yeah well i didn't really intend to stuff my face but i did anyway. shopping there in the ny is pretty much impossible to do comfortably, the crowds are not to be believed. you don't walk, its more like being pushed along. and metal fans can probably bodysurf with ease. hurhur. took a meeeeeeleeeeyon pics but as ian says i am a procrastinator shit (which is probably true, but great minds think alike) which links to being a lazy shit, so i probably won't get round to posting bulk of it. i just went through my digicam and extracted some, but yeah being the lazy shit i am i probably won't ul them all. HAHA. sorry joyce!! ;_; (<3)

some beach near tai zhong. went there for a stroll early in the morning and took lots of emo pics. LOL. reminds me of montauk beach in esotsm.

one of my cousins skimming pebbles.

shen keng dou fu jie haha. the whole street stank but hey it tasted good! dig the guy in the red shirt giving weird face lol. want intro? -_-

the traditional boiled ones in spicy soup. the soup also smelly -_- got yandao serve you somemore!

.. but the fried one is lao aunty sell. no wonder the boiled one more business HAHAHA!

the damn nice snack store with the generous aunties who unfortunately have extremely bad hypy. "tu dou" became "tuduo" on their url D:

skye obviously likes sea coasts alot. with vast expanses of sky >_> i forgot the name of this place, slipped my mind.. perhaps its that idyllic fishing village ian is always fantasising about. hurhruhur

the SLR thief. i kinda miss climbing over the stupid rocky ground trying to get an angle that isn't destroyed by the bazillions of people. was fucking cold ya.

the 101 opposite our hotel. the stupid mall inside only sells extremely atas and booteek brands. boring.

MR DONUT!!!!!!!!! WHO WANT TO FRANCHISE WITH ME?!

i wish i could have this everyday. le sigh~

drink of the year award. LOL. looks gross (well i like bright coloured drinks =/ ) but actually tastes damn nice. rice wine thingy with green tea extract and dunno what else. i think i drank near a jug -_-

DONGDONG!! isn't he like fucking cute. i wanted to da pao him up the plane lol. super celebrity pig. diva sia, only eats fuji apples =x well, but if you look as cute as that...

ok i lazy to ul more already. the new google acc thing on blogger actually loads faster then the old interface, or i would've stopped sooner. haha! trip was good, change from mundane old sg. haven't been spending my ny's in sg for years, cos alot of my relatives are taiwan / hk ppl. probably forgotten what its like to celebrate it here. sch's already unofficially out as everyone knows, its like slackamania now. very song, everyday watch movie read and play guitar. hahaha.

some of the faces that will always be etched in my memories. good times and bad times we've had them all, but we'll still always be friends. :)

weeps. i'll miss seeing siao chabos everyday.

will probably take a week's break more.. then go look around for courses and job. considering applying ntu next year. no more being confused and stuff! it adds too much to the general emo-ness. in other news, i just got a new axe!

*sparkles* ibanez RGR321EX!

drools. like black and white ah haha. super happy with it cos the metale sounds so much more aggressive now HAHA! bassy too. so naice and blaccckk ("blacker then the blackest black.. times infinity!" LOL) i lurve the reverse headstock! might change the pups after the switch. breaking it in now and having lots of fun! the HH guitar problems are settled, for now.. no worries go to hk on april, just settle makan and shop can already xD much thanks to the tubs who loaned me the $ haha! hugsss i is rove you deep deep~

nothing much else to say, pretty much enjoying life now. everything in place, save for the jumbled up thoughts in my mind. you come across so suddenly that i don't know what to make of you. but since it's been such an image intensive post i'd save the word vomit for later. haha. this song reminds me of a certain someone. missing alot of people now. i kinda wish we were all just neighbours. =p

postscript: "there now, steady love, so few come and don't go - will you won't you, be the one i always know - when i'm losing my control, the city spins around - you're the only one who knows, you slow it down" - the fray, "look after you"

2007-02-02T23:55:00.000+08:00

::listening to "new born" by muse::

.s u b j u n c t i v e.

school's finally drawing to a close.. had our last studio production today. today's the last day of school- but i still have music for pic to settle and 2 papers. sigh. i'm already easing into the weird feeling of having nothing to worry about when at home.. could get used to this hurhur! been wanting to blog but the onslaught of work culminating from the last few weeks of school have been relatively devastating; fell sick a few times as well. now all i want to do is nua around, read some stuff, philosophize my life. HAHA. been to the MUSE concert already, was so stoked at seeing them live but lost the mood to blog the night after cos i fell ill. haha! didn't go to school for nearly a week cos of that night -_- anyhow- they were seriously the shit, nothing beats them live.. definitely not the mp3s.

the enthusiastic crowd

matt on the piano xD

the reason why we fight

the euphoria felt when the crowd surged forward; the dense swelling of heat when the band started up. the experience was amazing.. needless to say i had a blast. was jumping around with the guys haha. with luck they'll be back again next year xD love concerts! hopefully lamc will bring in more good stuff, it certainly does help to have something to look forward to.

also recently went to rosli's album launch at earshot. turnout was great, had a good time too. like the last track the most haha.

man of the hour.

gleeful ed and the mesa boogie -_-

support local musicians! haha. album's pretty good, well worth the $19. bth the gleeful smug look on pig's face, i speculate that he will still get his mesa boogie in time, despite what he says.. just a matter of time, hurhur. music's really the antidote to depression- really think its crucial to my happiness. was feeling emo the other day due to school.. haven't practiced much in two weeks, but the moment i went into the back room.. felt really happy and had a damn good time. don't think the teach will understand how happy i was at that moment. haha. maybe i was just in an odd mood, but the resolve is renewed.

been feeling pretty much down lately, more often then usual. it was seriously starting to bug me but i guess i've cheered up since. met some people recently which i found to have an instant connection with. was a great feeling, people who i could talk to about anything under the sun. sometimes it's ironic, how people search for the proverbial "best friend", and unwittingly you find the people who would matter most in your life. unwittingly you might fall in love with them in a way, because who doesn't feel tenderness for people who care about you? i wish everything could just stay the way it is.. be it emo-ing together or bitching about the random gripe, i don't want it to change, because in this moment i am happy. despite me always whining about how perfunctory / meaningless life is. while i might hate school now and can't wait to graduate, i know i'll eventually be fan jian and still miss it anyway. seems like yesterday when i was still a chirpy freshie.. can't really imagine life without seeing everyone in school every week. oh well. sentimentality getting to me late at night.. don't ever want to lose my friends.

haven't really decided on what to do after school ends.. but i'll probably take a year off like what most people are doing. get my license, take a few courses, level up the guitar and maybe take grade 8 piano. find a prospective company to intern in maybe.. if the going's good maybe i won't have to go to uni even. screw it. i'll miss school life i guess, always wanted to see how uni life was like.. but right now i'm just sick of studying. just want to get out and see the world, immerse myself in the industry. not sure of anything anymore, future seems uncertain in a sense.. but have decided to just screw it and take it as it comes. sick of being confused. with luck, i'll get to where i want to go in time.

postscript: "how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you? would you tell me how could it be any better than this?" - "everything", lifehouse

2007-01-12T00:35:00.000+08:00

::listening to "walk with me in hell" by lamb of god::

.d e s c e n t.

it's a wrap! finally. the four days was arduous torture.. but it passed surprisingly fast too. last production of my student life in fms.. and possibly last production of my life. now that it's been said like that- right now all we do is bitch and whine, cos we're all sleep deprived and miserable. but maybe, in the future we would think back and go on about "the good ol' days" and completely forget about all the blood and tears. all humans are fan jian i suppose lol.. maybe we just have a disposition for self inflicted pain. production in sg tan bo jia leh it seems.. and i'm not particularly willing to flog myself on weekends and slog over a arri super-16 ever again. later today we go to telecine, and i'll be thrust yet again into the headache of composing. my brain's like all.. solid these days, doesn't take in much.. i can just sit there and stone. stare into space, look at the air particles floating by.. -_-|| in need of super long holiday where i can just turn into mega couch potato form again and not feel guilty about it.

being so busy these days, i haven't been practicing much. been feeling exceedingly guilty.. want to do something about it, but yet i can't. i desperately want to improve even more. so i won't disappoint myself, or my teacher. lately been swamped with so much work and projects, that when i come home i feel all deflated and dead. cannot even see the boyfriend or other friends as usual, have this feeling that anticipation for relaxation is pulled out from under me. with all these taken away as well as the quota of homework increasing, i can hardly even bring myself to think about guitar. haven't seen justin for 2 weeks before this, so have slacked off considerably obviously. can actually feel it, the familar ache from bending is back. sigh. i'll probably only have time to go back to serious practice after graduation? was thinking of just finishing off grade 8 for piano once and for all when i get the time. its not that high on list of priorities, but i suppose i should get down to it sometime. it's just been bugging me of late, i dunno why.

school's narrowing down to an end.. there's still work to be done and exams to mug for, but the future is already starting to bug me more then ever. i'm still at a loss about what to do.. whether i should go to uni, or just go to work? just received the letter from ntu but it only served to confuse me even more. -_- would be a lie to say that i wouldn't be glad to finally fuck off from ngee ann, but i'll miss some of the friends there.. maybe to some extent even, school life. just so fed up with the whole thing now that i feel more like burning down the school now at present. sch's been bittersweet, met lots of backstabbers and snakes.. presently still alot but i can't be bothered with them le.. with any luck after graduation i won't see them forever~ lol! just feeling odd that 3 years really passed by that quickly.. then was like OHMYGAWD, joyce style- we're growing fucking old la! wonder how 2007 will be like. it's obviously a new page of life.. wonder what changes would it bring? whether might drift apart in terms of relationship or friends, whether i would go to work or back to school. don't like the uncertainty cos its unnerving. somehow i wish i already had everything all mapped out to the best of my interests so i can bo chup the whole issue already. just want a financially stable life and be reasonably happy la.

sometimes you just want to be playing a game where you know all the rules, know all the variables involved, know how to win. and stop for a moment struggling against a world where you cannot possibly do anything but lose. watch all the unhappiness that partakes, people taking each other for granted. while people like me stare in from the outside, too afraid to impose, too afraid to speak out for fear of getting hurt or hurting, going through the motions until the wheels, gears and cogs finally grind us down into dust. why?

feeling emo now i think. maybe there's a silver lining hidden away somewhere that we've yet to see, but hey, i hope we find it soon.

postscript: "i shall be telling this with a sigh- somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." - robert frost, "the road not taken"

2006-12-21T18:17:00.000+08:00

::listening to "your great escape" by winger::

.m e t a p h y s i c a l.

another cold and gray day. yesterday was pretty warm without any rain- went out for awhile after passing up stuff at school. shopping with joyce again proved fruitless; wtf is wrong with far east and orchard in general?! same generic clothes over and over again.. no wonder most girls seem to look alike these days. can't even find a simple pair of berms -_- and all i bought was -drumroll- 4 pairs of socks! for $10. how awesome is that? i realise i sound damn sarcastic bah. i need to go hk or something to shop right now. singapore is so horribly boring.. the only place in town where i usually feel reasonably justified for my trip out is kino- they're having sale now! damn happy. but it was flooded with people so i didn't stay for as long as i liked. think i should go dig around again on saturday?

went out with my dad a few times this week.. was cool, haven't really spent much time with him lately. he bought me a new digicam for christmas! was pretty gleeful.. guess there's no one else better to pamper you then your own dad.

the chocolate factory at vivo. i want to buy everything and eat lol!

view from ah seng's van! damn heavy rain.. kinda felt like we were floating along cos the roads were all slick and semi flooded. anyway.. finally went to vivo. yeah slow i know.. i don't really think its living up to all its hype? wasn't as huge as i imagined it would be.. and most brands can be found in orchard. vivo is kinda out of the way, no? think the only nice things about it is the food and the view. haha. we ended up going home at like 10+ on monday simply because we were too full and had to walk around to digest the food. so we went around shooting stuff since there wasn't really much to buy.. and my dad the snap happy person actually toted his SLR there "just in case".

basically spent the day today reading magazines, getting my 2 hours of guitar practice in, and doing some homework. homework's like this neverending pile of stuff nagging away at the back of your head.. even after completing quite alot theres still this feeling that you've missed out something. but i was in a lazy mood.. tired of school as usual. day was spent pretty productively tho- i even managed to get the archive menu up! my html's all rusty cos usually i can't be bothered to go in and fiddle around with the stuff.

today was an epiphany of sorts- i don't usually feel this way so it's a welcome change! triggered by affirmations of things i'm interested in.. feeling gives you the urge to strive harder towards your goal. chain of thought was probably triggered from writing the stupid resume and cover letter for the job prep module. was so totally pissed off that it had to be an actual ad.. since when did media related jobs actually publish ads in the newspapers? or even jobstreets? wasted my entire day looking for something vaguely relevant just so i could actually conjure up some rubbish to say on the day of the mock interview. the only good that came out of it was that it forced me to seriously consider my options for the future.. revelations of sorts with a few people i happened to be talking to.. its a start, at least i have a rough idea now. it'd be so easy if i were someone with lesser interests.. and can easily just focus one the one that interested me most. but well.. guess ultimately i still have to choose.

in chrismassy and holiday mood (which explains the current flippant attitude about homework.. hah!) and feel like watching cushy feel good flicks; christmas as a setting being a bonus.. which is why love actually fits the bill haha! guy in picture is a total sweetheart. most girls would prolly dump their bfs if they were currently being mean and grouchy at the moment to date HIM, LOL. obviously i'm a closet love story fan.. especially when i'm in the mood. coincidentally there are tons and tons of good movies coming our way.. was happily flipping thru the absurdly early copy of first (maybe they were as excited as me and thus printed it early? xD) like the rabid movie junkie i am.. and i can't wait to watch everything!

nothing much else to say- just feel oddly comfortable today that i even decided to blog lol. feeling like getting my HH guitar now (esp since pig make me look at that guitar at SL sale..z).. and my lc-a. am sad cos am broke. pig's extra present making its way over now.. probably won't be in time for christmas, but will be for his birthday lol. very happy with the service although there were some hiccups.. and actually made a new friend. yay for online shopping! if not for it would be in total despair as i can't seem to find anything to my liking here. hopefully everything i planned for in the coming days and months will go as planned.. and that i'd feel this way everyday. i feel like shouting at the back of a van or lorry. you wouldn't understand =D

postscript: "choose life. choose a job. choose a starter home. choose dental insurance, leisure wear and matching luggage. choose your future. but why would anyone want to do a thing like that?" - mark renton, "trainspotting"

2006-12-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

::listening to "of sins and shadows" by symphony x::

.o v e r d r i v e.

school's been extremely taxing of late. with the studio pro concert out of the way, the final hurdle is AFP2! with that over and done with, everyone can just kick back and shake leg to graduation. lol. silver wonders was incredibly trying, think we stayed till 2-3AM for 2 days not counting the day of setting up. arrived back in sch at 8AM everyday too. shag, ultra puffy eyes and zombie face.. but when everything was over, there was somewhat a sense of satisfaction i suppose. but relatively short-lived as the night wore on and we had to push @#^@*($ heavy equipment back up to the cage. muscles were aching like nuts and the suaysuay pms on that day michelle say must go spa and massage to recover. don't blame her cos from such strenuous exercise she must be flowing like mad. LOL!

dig the eyebags! at least no blood shot eyes eh? as you can see, fsv is making it FUCKING DIFFICULT for us to graduate comfortably. kns.

me and auntie joyce! think its the first picture i took with her. wendy hasn't sent the 'bo pics yet. wonder just how bimbotic those look xD can't wait to get production over and done with. am so not a production sort of person.. will try my best for sure, but after grad.. no more! i think if you're a free lancer and specialise in something, it isn't so bad.. cos you can just skip off home after the event is over, and leave the crew to pack up and dismantle. right now, our status = crew, = bao ka liao = including sai kang. awesome. i'm just in a mood to bitch and whine now i think, cos i'm pms-y also from lack of sleep. anyway everyone also pms now, join the crowd! hahah! highlight of the concert was firebrands. they are officially the first local band that i liked enough to buy their cd on the spot. wasn't a completely mindless night then, considering most of the other acts were not really my cup of tea. now that we're having a mini break of sorts still have to get down to all the thesis papers and revision. reg cine and med law exams feel scary. better start studying now or confirm flunk.

went to this german restaurant called werner's (weiner's, lol) around siglap area last tuesday with chops, melissa and ivan. he's been raving about his blueberry pie and pork knuckles for super long so we went to eat hurhur. was nice, pretty heavy meal but didn't feel like exploding. which is good! we passed by rows upon rows of those jia hong chu, alot which were damn spectacular. machiam house viewing session. we were even speculating which one is gloria's house. there were some that were set on hills.. must be nice to live in such places and not have to worry about living expenses at all. need to work ultra hard so can retire early. haha.

in things to look forward to: muse is coming to town! so excited xD matt belamy and his magic guitar is coming to sg! hurhur. wonder when will maiden actually show up. concerts are nice things to look forward to but.. they cost quite abit. might not be going to the phantom of the opera anymore cos we went with muse instead. if anyone's going let me know alright. :D

nowadays whenever i'm grouchy i think of the concert, the hk trip, and the impending graduation.. and the daydream cheers me up considerably. me and him had our 1 year and 8th mth anniversary a few days ago. time does fly. seemed just awhile ago when i was a stupid freshman trying to find my way to class (and now as a senior i'm laughing at the current freshmen.. or "si ginahs" as we like to call them -_-) and not that long ago when i first went out with him. often i visualise myself in the future, like what i would be doing, this time next year and such. you don't really need to do it, cos before you know it you're already right there. in the future. it's a strange feeling. he's celebrating his birthday in about 2 weeks.. already got his present which is on its way (long story) but i got him something else too just for kicks.. a christmas present or whatever. i don't see him that often, or even talk that much like we used to.. cos we both have our stuff to do and deadlines to meet. i don't see him and joke around like with friends everyday. so i thought i'll get him something else to show him.... something mushy that i can't bring myself to type here. -_- lol.

oh well. emotional reverie over. straightened out some thoughts recently and have a clear view ahead now. feel like going shopping to destress. also need to get a holga, and find out how much that cute little ixus camera yh was using today (SO CUTE love at first sight xD) costs. so i can take pictures like this-

yeah, i wish. i need my holiday, now. i miss everyone. D: ok.. only the nice non-pms-y people.

postscript: "it is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. the true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible." - oscar wilde

2006-11-25T01:33:00.000+08:00

::listening to "not myself" by john mayer::

.p a n a c h e.

feeling pretty mellow now, relieved as well. two weeks of non stop work, it's nice to finally look forward to a weekend. watched how to deal with joyce in the library cos we had 2 free hours. sure brings back memories of those adolescent years. was in the mood for a feel good chick flick. we wanted to watch some stupid stephen chow movie but i think they were all booked out. so no stupid humour= resort to chick flick lo. HAHA! movies are like that i suppose.. there to make you feel good. just wanted to see someone go through her ups and downs, but get her man and live happily ever after at the end of the movie. yeah i guess i'm a closet chick flick fan.. when i'm in the mood that is. listening to light stuff the whole night to relax also. been playing metal all week for lesson and listening to stuff like the glass prison on repeat.. aural orgasms for sure but orgasm too much also will burn out. hurhur!

school's been about the same, as usual.. we've all gotten used to the routine now so i guess it isn't that bad. this semester has highlighted something to me though.. i'm just not cut out for production. as in, the weather's atrocious, and in many ways we're limited to what we can get. sg just sucks. a career in production would be better developed overseas.. something what most of us should know by now. i've been getting this re-occuring dream. that i set up a concert management company. subconcious desire or just a fleeting thought? also been dreaming about sitting in a van and blasting music, yelling along to the lyrics as we drive past fields of flowers and blue skies. so vivid i could remember who was in the van, how the air smelt like.. maybe that's why i've been so tired these few days. i've been off galivanting in my dreams, so machiam never sleep like that. -_-| i think all this is just a sign that i need to go to wacken! or similar festival. roadtrip, please!

nothing much else, except that i've gotten some packages in the mail from some super nice people! my metal- a headbanger's journey dvd is finally in, along with a whole bunch of burned dvds- courtesy of sody! innocent little package filled with banned stuff floating past customs xD think i'll send him something nice sometime too when i've got the spare cash. brandon and james also sent me a t-shirt. a pervy jack sparrow declaration of love t-shirt! hahaaa.. think it rocks =x i'm just a t-shirt whore.. can't get enough of those. especially nowadays when i'm stressed and cranky from being sleep deprived, i'm more prone to buying more stuff to cheer myself up. hey, whatever works right? but i'm broke la. money always not enough to use. been wanting to get a holga or a supersampler also.. brian was saying should get before the HK trip so we can go take arty farty pics there. i need to become successful career woman so i can have bank full of cash. LOL. i think i'm totally delirious cos its 230AM in the morning and somehow i'm still here blogging on auto-pilot. like what chandler said this morning- yes, i need a beer.

got lots of things to think about and say, but i should be heading to bed. and my mood for semi-emo love songs and easy pop has passed. i want metal concert! here's to better days, with even more laughs :D

postscript: "i learn from my mistakes. it's a very painful way to learn,
but without pain, the old saying is, there's no gain." - johnny cash

2006-10-26T00:58:00.000+08:00

::listening to "pull me under" by dream theater::

.c u l d e s a c.

it's only coming to the end of the 2nd week back in school, and i feel like i've been back for months. not in the good way, of course. underneath the underneath, is what best describes school. underlying politics are rampant, and like what a certain lecturer said- someone might smile and ask you to lunch, but on the teacher's desk lies the 5 page long peer evaluation. vicious world, ad infinitum.. always has been. the real world is too ugly to behold sometimes. i was wondering how a 3rd party- perhaps a lecturer; feels when he reads all these seemingly random blogs of students whom might not know of each other's private bitching. wouldn't it be like some giant patchwork, bits and pieces of some ugly malice and conspiracy? just random thoughts.. and the old cliche term- why can't everyone just get along? these days i just switch off once class ends. it's depressing to think much. i guess most people have friends outside school for this purpose.. was just disturbing to think 3 years of camaraderie may amount to naught, cos who can really tell just who will stay in touch with you? sch technically ends in 3 months, so just hanging on and doing your best should suffice. just feel so, so tired.

just feel like doing a few things nowadays.. play guitar, watch movies, read a book.. or just doodle around on the tablet. i'm obviously not a very a morning person so early hours get to me.. usually look damn cranky or putting up valiant front to keep from falling asleep. so those things i feel like doing.. seldom get a whole day just to relax and think of nothing but what i want to think of. actually i think the thursday off is great. find it keeps my spirits up more, and i sleep less seldom.. maybe cos of the promise of a slight reprieve before the weekend makes it more bearable. dunno why i just felt like blogging suddenly. maybe pms-y la. got project meeting tmr so i can't have the whole day to myself.. i should be preparing for bed. but i'm here. blogging. -_- ever felt that something you thought was so solid that you could never lose it? but yet as time passes you can feel it degenerate, and slowly start to slip away.. then you wonder what you really had in the first place. would the slate be wiped clean, to allow for a fresh start? deja vu all over again, cycle repeats.. just what is wrong i can't say. i just wish things would be the way they were before. complacency is the undoing of many people.. guess we should cherish the things we hold dear more.. lest it slips through our fingers- not knowing till its too late.

nicest job in the world.. doing something you love, and being revered by so many people. want to go on a road trip, just attending concerts and taking in the sights with a group of friends. college students in the states always do that after grad.. heck we should make it a "tradition" of sorts here too! haha. james and brandon are off on their road trip, how i envy them *_* alot of things on my mind now.. but i don't know how to begin writing about them. jumbled. guess i've ranted enough and should be heading for bed soon.. this post has been fucked up lol. like random splotches on a blank piece of paper.. doesn't make sense. need someone to depend on.. but at the end of the day, you can only trust yourself to push forward.

postscript: "society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer." - oscar wilde

2006-10-16T21:35:00.000+08:00

::listening to "heavy chains" by loudness::

.f u g u e.

so it was back to school today. still trying to get into the swing of things, what with having not seen the school for months (and actually enjoying it!)- but the weather was seriously pissing me off. place was enshrouded in haze again, as if the weekend was not ruined enough. keep having this gag reflex that's making me get this puke feeling.. perhaps its the phlegm but only to a certain extent i'm willing to wager. having dizzy spells and slight headaches also. curse it! i don't want to fall sick again -_- i still remember last semester all too well when i MC-ed for the whole of first week.. spent hugging the toilet bowl mostly and getting injections. wish the cough will just clear up once and for all. everyone's still falling sick left and right, hams included. running temperature yesterday also.. although i think might have avoided if we didn't stay out after movie. maybe also due to the shag acm gig la. monsters galore and generally terrible sound. must have affected his sensitive ears. lolol~ xD

IS was okay.. but wisp was a little boring. was quite miraculous i didn't doze off. can someone please prescribe some remedy to keep me from dozing off? i don't want to cultivate unhealthy independance on expresso. the fraking media law book is $57 la wtf. i was expecting like half of that price! but since i guess it's something handy to have around.. info that's good to know.. i just bought it. heart pain but aiyah..... at least save me the trouble of running up and down the library and snatching with people. i'm hoping that there aren't any more textbooks to be gotten. damn expensive. so there ends the first day of school.. hopefully things following up won't be much more stressful.

the walk to lesson was seemingly perilous and much longer then usual. sort of shuffled ran to the place covering my nose. -_- but seeing the shop and seeing the teach i felt it was worth rushing from school to get there. sometimes that oppressed feeling in school can get a little much, so going there kind of feels liberating in a sense.. the feeling of someone playing music together. they don't judge.. and only ask that you enjoy yourself with the music. started on maiden and am very happy! have this world weary feeling nowadays which may be due to the fact that we've been studying all these years with no stop and conclusion as of yet. maybe with a proper break with a vacation thrown in.. and do some side courses of your interest and doing something you really like intensively- maybe after that, the feeling might disappear? i don't know. just 4 more months and i'll graduate damn it!

just 1 of the cds/dvds i'm going to get pretty soon.. didn't know this maiden album was an enhanced one! saw the actual cd and looked thru it and looks really nice to own xD one of the ways to cheer up is retail therapy (clothes / toys;) or a good dvd / cd. movies and books work too. few things that keep me from being totally bored.. that and the friends and hams too. what the wisp lec said just now might be true- sg is a utopia and whatnot.. maybe i just need a really long time away from here to appreciate its so called goodness? perhaps i'm someone who needs a little more variety and excitement.. or even possibly being naive as of this moment. but if i have the money i'd be out of here most probs. maybe a relevation will hit me sometime soon hopefully.. which definite direction to take. hold strong and just try my best. things to look forward to: graduation, final fantasy iii on the ds, and ministry of rock's esplanade gig!

postscript: "that is not dead/ which can eternal lie/ yet with strange aeons/ even death may die." - h.p. lovecraft

2006-10-08T19:54:00.000+08:00

::listening to "2 minutes to midnight" by iron maiden::

.j u s t i f y.

fug those tree burning indonesians. i honestly think they should just shoot these people on sight. every year also burn burn burn, either way they're going to die ya? either starve or asphyxiate. PSI hit like 150 yesterday, and most places machiam like silent hill. practically can touch the fog like that la. woke up feeling like crap even though i was perfectly fine just the day before. dry feeling throat, and runny nose. blows balls. i went out anyway, not knowing conditions would worsen. all the clinics were closed somemore. -_-| one thing i didn't regret going out for was the soft online store launch party, had a pretty strong line up and good sound for a change, what a treat compared to the usual crap put out nowadays. one band stood out alot for me however- the ministry of rock. boy. they really do deserve the name. first time seeing paulo perform with MoR. jatt ali fucking sounds like dio la. even his stature and pattern also like dio -_- paulo's tone was totally orgasmic as well lol. the whole band super tight. us guys were screaming along and headbanging like nuts.

think its the first time a local band made such a impression.. especially since they were playing hard rock and metal! seldom see local bands playing sets of this genre this tight. i'm all for fusion and groove, or eclectic pop.. but when it boils down to what can make me high- its still metal and hardrock! orgasm inducing set list: deep purple's burn and storm bringer, black sabbath's heaven and hell and war pigs, metallica's master of puppets, and megadeth's symphony of destruction! isn't everyday you get such sets xD hopefully will get to see them play again soon. SAVAGE ANIMAL (lol) should play more of these! like that then manager very happy. haha!

had quite a bad night from all the meds and fluctuating temperatures, but feeling better right now. hopefully i recover quick, it's the last week of hols and i don't intend to spend it mucking around at home feeling gross. haze really killer for me cos it irritates my sinus and thus triggers off my allergies. hopefully it rains and it'd clear up for good. wondering if i'll be well in time for tomorrow's session. knowing the teach, he's probably sick too -_- always hear him sniffling and looking tired. haha. he overslept last session, so i was hanging around the shop with lawrence.

took some pics for fun! i'm the first person of the week =D think after sch reopens i have to rush there at 6 for lessons. oh well. no pain no gain. trying to sleep earlier nowadays in preparation for sch start.. will miss getting to sleep all i want. was wondering if i got mild case of narcolepsy? dunno if there's any remedy for it. i seem to doze off even if i have enough sleep sometimes. maybe subconsciously too bored? coffee doesn't seem to have much effect either.

been a long and relatively restful holiday, though i wouldn't mind another month more or so. just want to watch lots of movies and relax in this last week, get the most out of it before going back to the zzz building. time does pass really quickly.. almost the end of '06 already. wonder what post graduation life holds? so many questions.. many of which i won't get the answer to anytime soon. i miss hams.. hopefully can see him more before sch reopens. keep it light and be optimistic; rule of the day.

postscript: "quod me nutrit me destruit - what nourishes me destroys me."

2006-09-19T16:54:00.000+08:00

::listening to "purple haze" by jimi hendrix::

.n o.g r a v i t y.

i've been too busy lazing around and slacking as the impending last semester is almost upon us. looking at how people like joyce blog almost everyday, my sporadic posts are pitiful. ahaha! i'm so lazy. i should be practising now, but i'm taking a break because my brother is blasting his amp now. so it'd be like contest to see whose amp loudest. then the neighbours will complain, etc etc. lolz. anyway! i turned 20 a week ago or so, and i don't feel any different! i'm like leaving teenagedom -_- spent the day lunching with parents at tsung palace, and having a small celebration at tcc with the usual people. quite a happy day! birthdays are always so mundane in a sense, most kids grow up with this belief instilled that birthdays are special days, but as you grow older, the fuss sort of dies down. i suspect this is when the "feeling old" part comes in. haha. it is essentially just a normal day spent with people that matter most i guess.. with presents and well wishes thrown in if you're lucky. =D i've delayed updating for so long that my dad's birthday has also passed! it was yesterday. and pretty soon it will be my brother's.

see the ultra fat cake. it's not really fat per se, but i think if you eat the whole damn thing you confirm fat. lolz! melissa don't even dare to eat one whole slice. hams got the cake, so nice right. i kind of look like deer caught in the headlights, i don't know why. i don't take enough pictures with him as it is. -_-

dig my stash this year! cleaned my room today and balanced all the presents nicely and took a pic. i have nice friends, no? everyone went practical this year, and i'm super happy with the result! haha. i've even got a late present winging its way from LA right this moment, courtesy of mr sody xD quite excited about that one, will prolly blog about it next time. finally got a new phone too after nearly 3 years.. just nice cos the old clamshell was having disturbing flashes of blank white screens and flickers. the k800i rocks! in fact my dad loved my new phone so much he went and got the same one. -_-

dad's birthday at jack's place! he spent the whole day happily gorging on good food. my mum made him a super nice breakfast with all the bells and whistles, then he lunched with her at crystal jade for lunch. dinner time he took me, my brother and his gf to jack's place. wah lao. happy lol. we went to wisma to buy his present cos him being the gleeful bday boy wanted to CHOOSE his present -_- end up all the shirt he want don't have size, have to wait for stock. hurhur! well, at least he seemed quite chipper for the whole day. photo turned out quite nice right? except i look kinda shagged just out of lesson. the hp cam solid.

so that's the big birthday post! i lazy to come up with more descriptions :D heh. much thanks to everyone who wished me and gave me stuff. joyce's bday coming up, maybe can celebrate with some of the fsv bunch.. it's been a long time since we met up as a group, with everyone so busy. hoping that term will start off to a favourable start too. we'll be at around 90% female population i hear, so there's bound to be catfights. so not cool. where are the males?! haha. maybe we'll have a memorable last semester. thinking about future options, surprisingly there's courses that i may want to pursue after grad. prolly will try not to venture overseas, although there's the lure of going to a completely different environment and immersing myself in the culture / lifestyle there, it's too expensive and i'd probably not want to come back. haha. hopefully things go well cos i want to be well off in the future. it sucks to be broke, as most people know. sometimes its weird to think about the future and what life might be like next time- its sure to be radically different from the way it is now. feels like exiting the first phase of life and on to the next.. and i'm not sure if i like that. next semester is going to be really fast paced and stressful- so everyone should rest up more and do whatever it is you like to do, and maybe put some thought into what happens after grad. no more late nights!

spotted this poster at cityhall and somerset. big ass! lamc must be gaining some foothold cos there wasn't any such adverts for the dream theater gig. i'm definitely not going to malmsteen unless someone throws me some free tics.. he came just a few years ago at '02 if memory serves. besides, i prefer his goofy cheesecake loving self ("alo!" xD) on youtube. he's so much more endearing there hurhur. dig his 80's pout! 2006 already he's still pouting. hahah! still wondering whether i should go to the slayer gig? it's abit pricey, and there's a chance that maiden might be coming. and i would want VIP tics for that. so i'm still considering. want list has lengthened again, and i'm not very big on funds right now. might have to give it a pass. sigh. i know bro, jojo they all keen on going but, i dunno. at any rate if i go i'd prolly go for the high seats and not mosh and get beaten up by crazy fans. decisions! =/

guitar has been coming along pretty well, started on improvisation! doing alot of blues these days, really groovy stuff. surprisingly enough i actually enjoy it, despite being quite stressed up. practice does pay off, feel that actually leveled up already xD justin = power. speaking of guitar got alot of expenditure coming up.. bridge, tuning pegs, and a new pup for my strat. going to set me back quite abit. also looking to get a strap and an incase bag.. since i don't have a hardcase i really want a bag that i can feel comfortable with it being banged around a little. also really want a HH guit, but that's prolly next year or something.. i'm guessing the pup that i'm changing for my strat should be able to tide me on.

also alot of ds lite games i want to get, like megaman dz, final fantasy iii, mario brothers, to name a few. broke. the ds is really handy to have around.. it really does kick psp's ass! much thanks to the nice people who sponsered me xD also have to get my hands on the macbook before i grad, cos it comes bundled with a whole lot of rubbish we don't get if we got it out of school.. and it's lots cheaper as well. alot of expenditure to consider.. but i reckon after this bout i'd pretty much be content for a long time. i still have to get a last pair of jeans sometime this week. -_- oh well. i shall be rich next time!

postscript: "hope. it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness." - the architect, "the matrix reloaded"

2006-08-15T16:35:00.000+08:00

::listening to "supermassive black hole" by muse::

.o h snap!.

has been a pretty tiring weekend with no chill-at-home day, despite having 3 days off instead of the usual 2. movie and dinner on friday, after which we left for home early so that he could continue on his song. sat.. finally saw jo after 283681 weekends. ppl ORD loh! haha! hung around penin for more then half the day before going to esplanade for popcorn pop, then chill out at tcc (as usual). i feel like collecting the chirashi there cos well, collecting many posters is abit stupid and not practical right.. where would you store them? chirashis are like mini versions which you can collect in albums.. the problem is as usual the money =/ i think a piece costs $5 cheapest. argh! recently my want list has been growing disturbingly long. qian bu gou yong! sunday was spent at the substation.. tags. the art of gear stomping, lol. collected my booster from mrmisse! managed to scrape up enough money before the 10% hike starting next month.. i don't wanna pay extra. -_- event was quite informative and interesting in a sense, learnt a few things and got to see mountains and mountains of pedals.. although i wouldn't know where to start with them even if i owned them all. lowside was i felt the weekend passed by so quickly. prolly due to the fact i felt quite tired throughout it all. my guess is next few weekends might be the same too... anyway:

family pic! small family tho lolz.

cube controls! suddenly so many knobs after months of using 3 knobs. haha.

after months of waiting i finally managed to get the cube30! guess i got heng in the last few days. can throw away the old crap amp already hurhur. being used to crap suddenly get nice sound is quite mind boggling. can see the crap behind the guit haha.. and one of the baguettes. lol! load off my mind, was already preparing myself to start hunting for a new amp if still don't have news. rc booster $280, cube $300, so thats $580 i've blown people. the cube money i've hoarded since a few months back when it sold out just when i got the money together.. but its still a blow haha.. i'm broke. still pleased though! can crank loud loud in the day when nobody's home!

what we missed at esplanade the other day. i love fireworks, but i prefer to enjoy it unobstructed and comfortably like i did last new year at shanghai.. heard there was alot of bad attitude this year among the throngs of crowds. i guess i'd choose missing out over being mashed between say, two obese and smelly aunties or something. urgh. danny and co braved the crowds though and sent me pretty pics! blast the crowds.

what we do every saturday! to quote jojo: melissa the voyeur. haha! another one for the band autobiography right? wonder what we were laughing at? nothing much else recently, except that threadless is now having a $10 sale. new stuff tues and wed too. am currently holding back in case next 2 days got something i really want. i need more money =( i need retail therapy cos it helps sooth the nerves when i'm pissed off with a certain someone. and i need to get my final report done. boring. dun feel like writing. tomorrow had better be the last day we're editing. its the end of attachment already for fuck's sake. wondering what to do after i grad, again. looking forward to hk trip with the rest after that though. so many options for the future. the proverbial question of the moment. any ideas?

in other news, SLAYER is coming to town! this year sg quite happening eh, dt, toto, and slayer in a year? and possibly even maiden in the wings at year end? and all the good smaller scale mainstream perfomers like mraz. awesome! metalee~ xD think this'll be a huge gig. go!

postscript: "what we do in life echoes in eternity." - maximus aurelius

2006-07-26T20:52:00.000+08:00

::listening to "forever" by skid row::

.e n v i e.

am really sick of the tts edit nonsense. i can't believe they actually shelled out thousands of pounds for a similar video last time. thousands of pounds!! siao ah? then how much are we getting paid? or is it free labour? till now haven't seen any signs of the slagbag also.. maybe busy coping a assfuck elsewhere. can see everyone's damn sian face whenever have to go to school. i take it all back! i rather be bored and at home doing what i want rather then go to school and do boliao things, thanks. i totally understand the feeling of being taken for free labour now. hope can finish up asap and don't see that freaking building until october.

haven't been doing much so far this week besides being flu-ish and stuff.. end up sleeping half the day away or something sometimes after taking med. sigh. i really miss justin cos lesson usually keeps me busy for the whole week. its been nearly 3 weeks already =( consolation is this coming monday got class! hurhur. i do wish i had someone who was patient enough to guide me abit more on other days tho. just now when chatting with wenjie he painted me this picture of rosli being like some giant sadist, then his students are all sadomasochists itching for pain. hahah! to think i was actually hoping to have him for teacher, so scary! but i think its good also cos you learn faster? actually hes alot more convenient seeing he lives in clementi. mmm.. guess not for at least a year or so now then...

chiobu pedal xD

i really really want this pedal. zz. if it weren't for the cube money i'd buy it. -_- saving now.. buy for me please? ...... but amp is of utmost priority now. sigh. i think i'll call and ask again tommorrow. pig's case arrived in fremont already =) now wait for the tompang over to sg. hope everything goes fine. am also annoyed by t-shirt purchase.. cancelled cos of stock discrepancy. i got a free voucher so it suits me but the pending amount at the bank still isn't useable. sigh. hoping for a reprint so i can just use up the points and voucher asap.

lately looking around ppl's blogs all so emo. why like that? i know i'm also very emo sometimes but i'm trying to tone it down already cos no point i guess. no one is going to go out of their way to make me feel better ma. so cheer up.. shit happens, you know. i'll just stone alone at home and kick the wall when i'm feeling unhappy and not broadcast it to everyone. take a pointer from joyce. and to all the perverts on the tagboard.. wah lao! if you guys wanna paste a life size baywatch-esque poster of him in ure "clubhouse" cannn, but must pay me some money ok? cos he's mine what and you're all fantasising about him in speedoes! insane!!

i wanna migrate!!! ~~LA LA LA~~ ... bah. bath and practice time. lets hope the weekend rolls along quickly. at least i can be bored outdoors rather then indoors for a change.

postscript: "success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money." - johnny cash

2006-07-21T18:03:00.000+08:00

::listening to "the dirty boogie" by brian setzer orchestra::

.1 3# e s t.

*gryns* in a relatively good mood today! listening to sleazy music and surfing a whole cache of recently discovered random sites. =D an hour before dinner; thought i'd blog and try to psycho myself out of an inane purchase. tagged by danny. so.

5 current points of randomness:
1. nursing odd fixation with tees.
2. wishing the black phoenix AL was somewhere nearer.
3. wondering when the hell the cube is going to restock!
4. wants to kick cc in the balls (that is, if he even has them)
5. ~~just had weird urge to drink hoegaarden beer~~. wtf is wrong with me!

5 pieces of winamp randomness:
1. lock up the wolves by dio
2. ignition by brian setzer
3. please please please by the shout out louds
4. tainted love by the cure
5. still kickin' by danger danger

5 current random book recommendations:
1. kamikaze girls by novala takemoto
2. the elephant vanishes by haruki murakami
3. neverwhere by neil gaiman
4. TOP10 by alan moore
5. the sicilian by mario puzo

5 random things i say often:
1. for real?
2. bloody hell!
3. that chao fucker! (-_- ....sorry)
4. duh.
5. what the fuck/hell. (hahah this one is easy!)

pretty easy meme huh! hahahaa. whoever reads this has to do it! kills your boredom for 10 mins or so, and entertains you when you read it at other's blogs for 2 mins! crap i am very bored. i feel like starting to read my new book but i won't cos it will prolly mean late nights today and no more books left! i shall save it for next week =/ i wish i had cable tv.

anyway. has anyone noticed that there is nothing to buy in orchard nowadays? clothes wise i mean. most are ill fitting, unoriginal, and worse, freaking expensive. ~~fat lot of use GSS is.....~~ i am so sad. i need a vacation to japan! or at least to hongkong. sponser me? feel like going on a trip with lots of friends. should be fun xD sody is coming to asia on the 25th! he might drop by sg hopefully. maybe can meet up? lolz. i also want to go globetrotting. i'm rotting in boring, boring sg.

nothing newsworthy really happened this week except for that little meet up at sch ^{(lets hope the little dog burns and dies..)}. hopefully something will come out of it. and the ebay drama that nearly gave me a heart attack early in the morning.. but it all turned out well in the end! apparently customs rejected the package saying that its too big and whatever.. and fed ex and UPS demanded like USD$300 for the shipping! SIAO. so it got sent back to the seller adam, who thought we weren't going to be able to receive it. and put it back up on auction! wth. anyway chansey sent him a super threatening letter... in the end he agreed to send it to a friend in cali who's coming back to sg in august. it was sort of a blessing in disguise cos there was a massive price cut xD ohoho! actually the seller was also quite professional already la. THANKYOUCHANSEY! <3 <3 stupid customs. i dunno why the hell is it so expensive to ship to sg? the tax is gold is it. abit ridiculous how they hinder people getting things sg doesn't take in.. all they're concerned of is making money out of us i suppose. dinner time. not bad ah i actually blogged like only a week after i last blogged!

postscript: "who knows what Delirium sees, through her mismatched eyes?" - neil gaiman, "seasons of mist"

2006-07-15T00:32:00.000+08:00

::listening to "reverie/harlequin forest" by opeth::

.s o d. i t.

feeling extremely productive today. mundane day, but productive nonetheless! checklist: 1) ~~7 bi-weekly reports~~ 2) ~~interim~~ 3) ~~3 hour guit practice~~ 4) ~~new book~~ and lastly 5) ~~blog~~! can like slack for another week or so before starting on final report, after which i can slack till oct. sian. and i thought term starts at like mid nov. actually i'm typing here with the earl grey and winamp on random cos everyone has gone to sleep. and relatively early on a friday night. anyway..

chanced upon this on ebay. guess what this is? anyway. i got it for pig chan, with help from chansey. bloody hell cost a bomb, but i think he can put it to good use.. it's actually a pretty good deal. i think i'm too nice to pig lolz. always seem to come across his present super early haha. work hard towards your dream ba chubby..

after hearing what i got him he went and got me this and a cup. guessed straight off after talking with him abit about it.. pig is so predictable. HAHA! usagis are so cute la. the cup look like him xD the wrapping method make it look like french baguette right. -,-

on guitar news.. super dulan with SL at the moment. i don't know why they bother to tell customers 1-2 months wait for cube to restock.. but i hear the restocking is undetermined.. aka dunno when then will come! pissed off cos just when i have the money, they like that. wanted to take pic with the cube but aye its not here -_- settle for pic of strat only. i'll just have to wait i guess.. hopefully the old amp can tong abit longer.. its going all crackly and faint despite the new cables. don't seem to have any feasible amps with similar price also.. and i already set my mind on the cube...... bah. justin is off somewhere on vacation. 2 weeks no lesson. think he very rich sia can go vacation for almost 3 weeks lol. have lots of chromatic exercises and stuff to learn and have to finish struggling with war pigs. i seem to have forgot some of the fillers.... guess i'll have to use the 2 weeks to try and figure them out manually.

life in sg is pretty mundane.. one can't even slack in happiness. seems like there's nothing much worth living for here. i actually feel like migrating, but that calls for quite alot of cash. dec is going off to boston with his gf for uni, and might not be back for a really long time. i kinda wish i was him. i'd prolly not want to come back at all haha. still pondering over the current big question.. to further my studies after grad, or get a start on my career? if further studies.. what course? its been chewing me out quite abit, and people around me are usually not very eager to talk about it (still avoiding the question), or flippant ("further studies lo, not ready to work la~"). i'm fine with either actually.. wish something could point me to which way i should go. feel so alone in a sense..

noticed something when i was looking through my picture folders- i didnt take much pictures in the past.. yet the first had such vivid memories surrounding only that one photo we took. the second and third, none, and nothing really memorable anyways.. and the current one, in what i sincerely hope will be my final- considerably more pics in earlier stages, a first.. but not many either. memories are varied but its been a relatively good ride so far. i wonder if people treasure things that are hard to get more? sure does seem the case. i'm not one for overt sentimentality.. but i sometimes wish i had more pictures to reflect the memories shared. sigh. nvm cheering up! it's saturday already~ i usually feel i've literally crawled thru the weekdays to get to these precious weekends, starting from friday night.

expecting a nice surprise soon one of these days.. sody said he'd mail me the "metal- a headbanger's journey" dvd from L.A. real soon! *hugs sody* love! metalheads should take note of this dvd.. totally loved it xD but stupid sg censorship doesn't allow it to be sold here. bloody fags.. i'll still get it somehow. check out what sam dunn the director said at the end- "Ever since I was 12 years old, I had to defend my love for heavy metal against those who say its a less valid form of music. My answer now is you either feel it, or you don't. If metal doesn't give you that overwhelming surge of power, and make the hair stand up on the back of your neck, you might never get it. And you know what? That's okay. Because judging from the forty thousand metal heads around me, we're doin' just fine without you." awesome. singapore doesn't know what its missing xD as usual i've forgotten most of the things i wanted to blog in recent days- but yet have managed to crap out a relatively long post. -_- no matter, most were pretty negative and angry thoughts anyway. just a special mention that touched me this week- to danny the sandwich boy, whos arguably the best guy pal someone could ever have. thanks for the subway delivery when i was hungry and totally depressed. i miss my classmates. in particular joyce. i haven't seen her in centuries. =(

postscript: "these are hard times for dreamers." - amélie, "le fabuleux destin d'amélie poulain"

2006-06-13T15:22:00.000+08:00

::listening to "until kingdom come" by kamelot::

.s u r r e a l.

streetfest was relatively fun, save from the part i had to wade around in wet shoes cos of the heavy rain. jeans got splattered also. at least didn't sweat =/ this is hopefully and probably the last time i will go though. music is horribly atrocious. butchered and mangled. was saying to gloria that most of the vocals are like tone deaf. sounded like the death squeals of pigs being chopped up. think the only bands i enjoyed were jojo's set for aries kaiser, crysan't and marionette. k'afein and now playing were gud also. k'afein's bassist look like william hung! ..... -_- majority of the rest sound like crap tho. ran away after marionette's set. think there's only so much torture our ears can take. there was also an over abundance of bakemonos dressed up in lace and dunno what else. come to think of it i like go there to make my eyes and ears bleed only. no more next year ah! -_- tcc session was more noisy then usual cos got so many peeps. haha! the guys must be happy la bitching. pretty fun day save for some comments that irked me a little.

saw k the other day. was quite surreal cos i've haven't seen him ever since we graduated. its weird how i've never seen him all these years- and he appears just a few meters away from me. he hasn't changed at all.. same floppy hair, black frames and dreamy look haha. kinda felt like i was 15 again. jss seems like some distant memory now. sometimes i wonder how even you might feel about that aspect of your life since we don't exactly talk about such things.. which may or may not be a good thing. feel bit moody nowadays which is prolly the cause of feeling everything so acutely. things that were a norm last time has practically become something precious. i guess it teaches us to be more mature, independent.. to appreciate things more maybe. its just that there doesn't seem to be anything new to fill the cracks of what used to be there. sometimes i wish there was more. thinking of stupid things and needing ppl to pat me on the head and tell me that i was silly and make me feel better. stupid. i wonder just where is my place? seems loads lower all of a sudden. maybe things will change in the future.. i'll just concentrate on anger management and not think so much. guess i just feel kind of hurt.

in other news, i still haven't met up with jj yet -_- to discuss the storyboards. hope steph or who can come down too to help. feeling like super stoned now. hopefully the freaking cock person don't come down on the shooting day. waste my time. hope the tts thing will finish asap. just want to chill out to prepare for armageddon come last semester. hey it's fair since we have, currently non-existant pay, despite promises of otherwise. haha~ the world is realistic, your little workers aren't going to be enthu for nothing ya, not with next to NO motivation for our work. prolly going to get my cube pretty soon, mebbe get someone to pei me down to lug it home haha. always sound bloody different on the crappy amp at home and the amp i use during lesson. at home i'd be like "fucking crap sound" then during lesson its like "fwoah!!" haha. moved on to ac/dc now. prolly moving much faster in just weeks then what that lousy chiseler will take in a year. pui.

my timmons dvd/ cd also recently arrived xD with signed goodies and stuff! haha~~ though i'm not so fanboy (girl? -_-) like pig is but yeah it cheered me up haha. some things have happened of late that changes quite a few things.. so to you guys, hopefully its a opportunity to start afresh and reach higher peaks. =) someone needs to donate stuff for me to watch, and perhaps a few good books. or pei me out or something. cos i get so bored that i wind up blogging long and sporadic blog posts and other boliao stuff. somemore i not as avant garde / abstract like joyce. mweh.

postscript: "sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with is the one person you can't be without." - pride and prejudice

2006-05-28T02:41:00.000+08:00

::listening to "electric gypsy" by andy timmons::

.s u b l i m e.

life's been pretty relaxed recently, save for some cock ups at FCP. think have to do VO again cos gayboy is not happy with it. everyone is sick of that stupid vid la. lol. other then that been spending most of my time watching stuff, reading, and practicing. really think all this time is a fair exchange for practically non-existant pay. xD apparently we're only paid when projects are finished, and also dunno the pay is how much. lol! and the wild boar still owe us money. -_- anyway- time is priceless so its a pretty good bargain yeh! not really looking forward to tts shoot cos i dun like hospitals. the smell makes me feel like throwing up. must really make use of this time before we're kicked into next sem, which i heard is quite disgusting in terms of workload. at least it all sounds quite interesting. really miss some of the classmates in particular cos never see them for so long liao. lol.

finally got my guit!! pretty pretty shiny shiny.. xD thanks to pig for picking such a nice one out. ib's got the same one as me! xD fate ah? will take pics of it when i get my cube pretty soon. bro's got a new marshall now throw the laoya amp to me le. good in the sense that no need to snatch with him anymore, bad that the amp is like going to die like that. lol. cable already died. now have to resort to -_- methods to even get sound. nvm! hopefully can get the cube in the next few weeks. also finally got the rockbag! pleasant surprise when adam messaged that SL finally had stock. have to thank ramon for going all the way to ventura to get me one tho, end up become he use cos i buy in sg now obviously cheaper, and he finds it loads more comfy then his old bag. lol! quite happy with how lessons are progressing, stuff is getting interesting. craving for andy timmons now. been curbing cd / dvd acquisition due to saving for guit and amp. but cannot tahan liao i think i'll order off his website later. its been long since i last got something off the net lol.

ayeeee power la. pig can fanboy over this pic. lol!

saturdays and msn conversations have been pretty interesting of late, with all the bitching and stuff going on. quite entertaining ah haha! think they everything also can make a big joke out of it. +1 on all the "subtle" jabs at diva-esque ppl. as for -you-, i often wonder how much you say is true, but i think most of it are lies. don't know what your intentions are but they're quite obviously bad. *shrugs* realised alot of ppl don't know i've left fateback. the traffic reflects a certain semblance of privacy which is quite refreshing, not that i update often. miss the pig lots!

postscript: "the meaning of life is to live life with meaning."

2006-04-24T23:46:00.000+08:00

::listening to "cry for you" by andy timmons::

.d r i v e.

stint at showmaker's over, in a month. relieved, yet somewhat melancholic. couldn't take their so-called 'lifestyle' and 'this line of work is like that one' bullcrap. in the first place, we aren't full-timers, nor are paid as well as the full-timers. so i do not see why we must be at every show, and be there right to the end. and when they tell me its the 'experience', i scoff. since obviously experience of being at the place, 90%. experience of being ON the job.. 10%. whatevs la actually. dropping all current and future commitments just for them, even for 6 months is impossible. considering what they're asking of us for what we receive, i think that is like totally out of the question.. pay doesn't even remotely cover our losses. too tired and worn out.. and am totally not willing to give up my commitments. i actually miss the job somewhat and even the guys.. in particular ivan. they've always been so nice and we didn't even get a chance to say thank you in person due to our abrupt pulling out. if the boss were more compromising on the timing and OT charges i guess we would still have been there. so we've switched to in house ibp. relieved at all the extra time and rest we get.. its been like a semi vacation for the 2 of us after all the hectic hours. the problem is no income i guess which is abit of a problem for me since i'm saving for something. and i don't like to always take money from my parents. i guess its the trade off for extra time which i'm not ungrateful for. IAP did have one good point though.. i'm quite cured of late nights! my body clock is finally more or less back on the good track. =D think i'm just being stupidly sentimental as usual about the job and the guys since i've gotten somewhat accustomed to it.. but not unhappy cos of all the extra time i now have. can't complain le. think the group will get along fine. think of it as inter-cohort relations! ... albeit only 2 members of the other cohort la. haha.

one bad thing as usual about having lots of free time obviously is the somewhat depressive feeling of having nothing to do. humans are all fan jian one la. tired complain no time, got time then complain sian. lol. was lazing around today at home deliberating whether to go out and get my stupid jazzIII picks which i stupidly misplaced awhile ago when lawrence called. i'd say he was somewhat of a godsend (lol ok not so kua zhang la) since i was feeling somewhat crappy over certain issues. i was actually vaguely worried that justin wouldn't have any slots left cos when we went the other day, lawrence looked kind of perplexed, but wrote down our names and numbers anyway. so was super happy when he told us justin would take us! lesson was good and stuff, enjoyed myself lots. will work hard for these 6 months, make the most of this extra time i have. suddenly have lots to practice and do- feel very cheered up already. quite a relief to finally find a good teacher after so much time considering. have to scrape up enough money to go and get my own guit soon cos 1 guit between the 2 of us with the amount of homework both have is just not going to cut it. flat broke. also got a timmons album which set me back about $25. super good album tho. arhh. i want to earn money! broke....

nothing much else to report on.. life has been quite mundane. actually been quite plagued about what i want to do in the future.. cos i can't come to a conclusion and work towards that point. maybe i'm not ready yet.. or should just give myself more time to consider. also i guess things are somewhat improving.. guess it just takes maybe some extra effort to make things work. sometimes i wish things were different or the same as before, but things change. maybe cos we don't talk as much as before. i think its worth it..... dunno what else to say but this.. won't say much more. happy bdae to kev- it's been awhile but its nice to hear from you again. hope things go fine with you and your girl. wish me luck with mine and maybe one day we can look back and laugh at the stupid things we did. =D have a good year being 20!

i'll just concentrate on whatever i'm doing for the moment, and not think so much. i miss you pig, hope you get well soon. =)

postscript: "one who claims to be the master, will always be the student, whereas one who claims to be the student, WILL be the master."

2006-04-02T23:52:00.000+08:00

::listening to "apocalypse please" by muse::

.t a i n t e d l.

attachment's started already, and surprise surprise.. we're already tired. lol. i've already made up my mind that i'll prolly not be hanging around much there after attachment is over.. i'd rather work in a studio, or a company entirely devoted to handling concerts and live gigs. i guess they didn't have girls till now for a good reason.. job's obviously too heavy for ladies. pros are that we get to learn how to rig live sound systems, and maybe a little impromptu dj-ing / turntables. hopefully the days pass quickly. i want my pay. lol. i'll have to save up for that thing i want to get. i guess it should cheer me up. since my outlook currently really suits the picture above. slate grey skies. i wonder when a little happiness might come by and break away that grey lining.

been really disappointed lately- ever had the feeling when you try your best to please somebody, and the person is just completely oblivious? everything should just suit his / her cause, without another thought about others around them. my time is thus totally shot, when it could've been spent on other things, or with more appreciative people. disappointed cos i sacrificed some things to spend this time. maybe it's a one sided concern. should i really care? a few days more to the first milestone. the feeling of deja vu slips in, would it really end in the exact same way? sometimes it really does seem poised to do just that. my heart is in knots. the feeling of loss. of regret. the feeling of being unable to let go, yet wonder if its for the better good. is it? sometimes i look around me and i feel envious. i felt like i once had this thing that everyone on the streets seem to have, but have lost it. or maybe in the process of losing it, bit by bit. its depressing to think the milestones of each piece of heart, each preceding the last in size, would shorten so drastically. i really hoped it might last. but you don't even seem to care anymore. even the things that came naturally once are now taken for granted or not offered at all. i guess i'll just let nature run its course, rather then be plagued by what could have beens, in a spur of reckless impulse. i need a shoulder to cry on. okay.. that sounds stupid and weak. no tears. rather someone to listen and reassure me. people all around seem to be immersed in either just themselves, or needless persuits to bother. suddenly charlie seems very valuable indeed. i hope. i hope. i seriously need something to cheer myself up. i never knew things could look so bleak sometimes. i guess i'm being overly dramatic now. after sleep i should feel reasonably better, then repeat the cycle of the day which will end in me banging my head on the wall as usual. lol.

on another note of good / bad news, my zen micro died on me. apparently its a hardware problem, so they're replacing a new one for me, with an additional 1 GB even. i'm wondering now if i should trade it for a 5G Ipod? or zen vision? 30 GB does sound very tempting. or maybe i'll just stick with my micro. someone advise me leh! bah. i need some good distractions now. feel like just shutting myself up at home to watch movies and read and play guit. feel like going to some music uni. don't feel like going to work tmr. bollocks. i've got to cheer up! hope the fat lady kenna run over by car. =) i miss you. very much..

postscript: "i am skye's [jack's] inflamed sense of rejection." - fight club

2006-03-22T14:31:00.000+08:00

::listening to "beat the bullet" by danger danger::

.d e u c e.

woke at around 1030 today- and lazed till around 11 before getting up. hurhur! i think i'm on the road back to "healthy living" now! sleep early and wake earlier =D no more late night mapling or starting movies at 2am! just as well since i'll be going off to showmakers next monday. start of some productivity, finally. actually i started the day off grouchy (as usual) and was too lazy to step out of the house, so didn't go for lunch with charlie like i said i would. sorry dude. i pay you 50cents for your time ok? =D am so chirpy now mainly cos the spoils of today is significantly larger then usual. hoho! found some albums i've been looking for for ages! with seeders somemore XD and some albums i'm sampling for the first time were realllyyy good. new influx of music = happy skye! lol. i really like the observatory's new album. maybe i'll buy their album at hmv? bad case of audiophilia. i think 1/2 my money goes into cds and dvds. z. nvm very happy about all the music now!

been mainly reading nana and watching movies these few days, and practising as usual. nua at home. lol. i wish the guys lived nearer so when i want to play halo they're in walking distance. lol. nana totally rocks. wasn't that big a fan of kagen no tsuki unless we're discussing hyde, lol. i'm bloody addicted. i want to go kino but i'm too lazy. still thinking about whether i should move to livejournal. i think most prob not le. cos yeah, i'm too lazy. lol! good news for the l.i.p.s girls- "Chapters" earned a A+! good job good job! at least all that work wasn't for nothing. habib said it was easily among the top films- and oli said maybe sending for some film festivals? think some of you guys must be very happy now right. *gryns* on another note, i think my parents really want me to go to university. i don't know if i should? i'm actually quite sick of studying. in fact i'm also sick of sg. lol. not the people and certain places i frequent often.. but i often wish there were more things to do, better scenary and stuffs. everytime i look out of the window and see factory chimneys looming above chinese garden i get all sianned. spoiler. saw this meme on several blogs like brain and joe's.. doing to entertain myself.

000. Name, birthday, age? skye, 9/9, 19
001. How many keys are on your keychain? four
002. What curse word do you use the most? fuck, in varying nuances
003. Do you own an iPod? buy me one?
004. Who on your Myspace "Top 8" do you talk to the most? don't even have myspace.
005. What time is your alarm clock set for? around 10am nowadays.
006. How many suitcases do you own? none.
007. Do you wear flip-flops even when it's cold outside? yep.
008. Where do you buy your groceries from? cold storage?
009. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? be in the picture.
010. What was the last movie you watched? v for vendetta (kicks ass!)
011. Do any of your friends have children? yep.
012. If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you would buy? spacious house!
013. Has anyone ever called you lazy? obviously. i'm even self declared.
014. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? nope.
015. What CD is currently in your CD player? kings of convenience- "quiet is the new loud"
016. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? regular.
017. Has anyone told you a secret this week? yep.
018. When was the last time someone hit on you? 2 weeks ago.
019. What did you have for dinner? kuay peng. -_-
020. Do you wear hoodies often? if i'm in school.
021. Can you whistle? yup.
022. Have you ever participated in a protest? no.
023. Who was the last person to call you? danny.
024. What is your favorite ride at an amusement park? rollercoaster.
025. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? probably.
026. What area code are you in right now? 609783
027. Did you watch cartoons as a child? i still watch them now lol.
028. How big is your local mall? pretty big.
029. How many siblings do you have? a younger brother.
030. Are you shy around the opposite sex? depends on who it is.
031. What is your biggest regret? none really
032. Have you ever had Jamba Juice? don't even know what that is.
033. When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt? tuesday.
034. What movie do you know every line to? eternal sunshine?
035. Do you own any band t-shirts? a few. led zep fave!
036. When was your last plane ride? january?
037. How many chairs are at your dining room table? four.
038. What is your favorite salad dressing? thousand island.
039. Do you read for fun? all the time.
040. Can you speak any languages other than English? chinese, teochew
041. Do you do your own dishes? no -_-
042. What color is your bedroom painted? white.
043. Have you ever cried in public? yes..
044. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? both.
045. Which do you make: wishes or plans? both.
046. Are you always trying to learn new things? yup.
047. Do you shower on a daily basis? .. twice daily.
048. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? more ear piercings.
049. Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date? nah.. dutch.
050. Can you skip rocks? ..?
051. Have you ever been to Jamaica? nope.
052. What to snack on at the movie theatres? not in the habit.
053. Who was your favorite teacher? patrick wong? LOL. or desmond wee. i think its their voices.
054. Have you ever dated someone out of your race? nope.
055. What is the weather like? gloomy.
056. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? probably.
057. Do you have an online journal? .. obviously.
058. What was your favorite class in high school? literature
059. Do you enjoy traveling via airplanes? NO LEG SPACE!
060. What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex? i think its more of a list.
061. Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive? depends on how you define "attractive".
062. When was the last time you slept on the floor? yesterday.
063. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? don't drink much.
064. Does your closest Starbucks have a drive-thru? nope..
065. Do you like your living arrangement? wish my room was bigger.
066. What is your mother's hometown? uhm..
067. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? at least 6.
068. Do you eat breakfast daily? depends.
069. What was the last thing to scare you? dunno?
070. Are your days full and fast-paced? depends.
071. Did you ever get in trouble for talking in class? not often.
072. What is your favorite fruit? watermelon / grapes
073. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? not really.
074. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 20
076. Do you believe in life on other planets? x-phile here.
077. Have you ever been to Six Flags? huh?
078. Who was the last person to piss you off? no prizes for guessing
079. Do you believe that God has a gender? no, actually.
080. What was the last thing you ate? spaghetti.
081. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? opposite usually.
082. What did you dress up as for your first Halloween? -_- ...
083. How did your parents pick your name? no idea?
084. Do you like mustard? honey mustard!
085. What do you tell yourself when times get hard? ah fuck it
086. Would you ever sky dive? .. probably not
087. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? side and back
088. What character from a movie most reminds you of yourself? won't say. lol.
089. Have you ever bid for something on ebay? nope.
090. What do you think of Angelina Jolie being pregnant? not my problem.
091. Do you enjoy giving hugs? to whom?
092. Would you consider yourself to be fashionable? whatever i like.
093. Do you own a digital camera? isn't mine, per se. -_-
094. If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? tough luck.
95. What celebrities have you been compared to? dunno?
096. Who is your favorite Star Wars character? darth vaderrr
097. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do? depends.
098. What books, if any, have made you cry? the time traveller's wife.
099. Do you think you're attractive? acquired taste?
100. What are you allergic to? dust.
101. Are you a jealous person? depends.
102. What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? impossible.
103. Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat? no.
104. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name have been? no idea?
105. Did you ever celebrate "Pi Day" in school? no idea what that is.

ok done with being boliao! no tagging, do if you want. lol. lonng post. think i'll watch cinderella man later. should stop being grouchy and cheer up more. guess "the one you hurt you love the most, the one you shouldn't hurt at all" is so ironic no? to the friend who's going overseas- bon voyage. think i'll go practice again now. but i'll put up some eye candy before i go-

ren's so hot no? ryuhei matsuda =D go drool over nana on youtube now!

postscript: Anna: "Why did you swear eternal love when all you wanted was excitement? Love bores you." Dan : "No, it disappoints me." - "Closer"

2006-03-16T02:16:00.000+08:00

::listening to "ready steady go" by l'arc~en~ciel::

.c a p r i c e.

moved back to the old blogspot address cos i believe fateback is dying on me. entries wouldn't publish. the old blog is like an extended archive now. pfft. i thought about moving to livejournal but i super dislike the layout. everyone's blog is like a clone of each other's. reminds me of plants in rows, in a vast garden. -_- digressed. anyways. update your links! briefly wondering if all the voyeurs will find their way to the new address- since there are alot of unaccounted for hits on my statcounter. hmm.

been bumming around the house recently. bored. i need to get to bed earlier so i can get up earlier. had alot of things on my mind just now actually, but most of it has already floated out of the window. this *ALWAYS* happens. i come home, sit down, and select some music.. and soon the music overides everything. z. prolly the reason why i don't blog as much as i used to. maybe i'm more suited to carrying a journal around. but thats like dangerous! -_- but nothing sad/morbid though. talked about some of it with joyce- thanks for listening =) i think too much when i'm not doing anything. guess i need to be occupied at all times, despite having self declared that i'm a lazy bum. z. ever felt that you care too much for your own good? i kind of feel that way now actually. advice: don't bother too much next time. it's not your choice, really. you'll probably just annoy the person or something. i think i'll just mind my own business.

got to seriously thinking about the future even more these days. wonder what i'll end up doing? think i should maximise my time more and not play so many games. come to think of it it really sucks up all the time i can use to do something else. argh. think i'll go take grade 8 by this year or latest next. put a proper closure to my formal piano training. guitar has been moving along pretty fine. my fingers hurt like fuck though. thinking of looking for a teacher soon. maybe someone will join me? on another note- hopefully attachment works out fine.. don't want it to interrupt ongoing activities, at the same time want to get the most i can from it. showmakers! wonder what kind of gigs they'd be at? hope we'll have fun. free admission at indoor stadium and esplanade?! =DD lolol! ~~i wish~~ meme tagged by chun. whoever wants to steal go ahead hurhur! i think i'm fug bored.

se7en meme

S E 7 E N Things that make me Smile =) :
1. new music
2. good movie
3. siberian fuzzball
4. chums
5. headway in music
6. being appreciated
7. family

S E 7 E N Ways to Win my Heart:
1. sense of humour
2. open-minded
3. same musical tastes
4. honesty. i don't need easy words.
5. good listener.
6. not an mcp.
7. intellectual.

S E 7 E N Things I Believe In:
1. myself.
2. carpe diem.
3. no music, no life.
4. vi veri veniversum vivus vici.
5. joyce is a closet pervert. (wait. she's actually quite open about it XD)
6. charlie doesn't wear underwear.
7. gosh. obviously i don't believe in alot of things.

S E 7 E N Things I'm Afraid Of:
1. kaka! ~_~
2. momo >_> ...
3. losing someone close to me.
4. comp crash without backup (horrors!)
5. other then that i'm fearless! hurhurhur

S E 7 E N Things I Do Everyday:
1. eat
2. sleep
3. pirate music
4. talk cock
5. guitar
6. piano
7. read

S E 7 E N People I Want to See Right Now:
1. siberian fuzzball for.. =D
2. joyce for hugs
3. asuka for bitch session
4. mich for pounce
5. charlie and joel for halo
6. chun for slaps
7. jakey for man candy

that took like uhm under 10 mins. lol. i miss the hamsss. hams should not be so grouchy and stop scrunching his eyebrows. cos it makes him looks hostile (wait. i think he is)~ =D nothing much to add cos i've cheered up like 2 hours ago. quite good mood liao. lol. only not happy pride and prejudice not out on dvd yet. &@%&@&(!! i need a stupid cushy movie to swoon to leh. i'm in the mood. call me a sucker for maudlin sentimentality but i don't care -_- pfft. shall go and enjoy that new john mayer album now. be good all!

postscript: "vi veri veniversum vivus vici- by the power of truth, i, while living, have conquered the universe." - goethe, "faust"

2006-03-06T17:03:00.000+08:00

::listening to "another kind of green" by john mayer trio::

.l u c i d.

holidays, at long last. can now waste time in abandon, without bothering about trivial things like *cough* cg. hope i've got NO cg next sem. i will die. DIE. hopefully attachment will be a rewarding experience. and not employers-from-hell types who make you OT every week with no hope of reimbursement. i will complain! zzz. nvm. will relax for now.

am actually not in a good mood but it was worse earlier on. think most people who know me well probably know i flare up very easily but cool off as quickly too. nowadays its more of cold rage. lol. i am never lending anyone anything ever again. so whoever who still owes me barang please auto, step up and return me all my stuff. fucking bad experiences. lend something out that is brand new. i get it back in scratches, dog eared, basically looking like its been through the wringer. wtf did you do, get your dog to chew on it? or lent it to another 100 sloppy irresponsible friends of yours without my permission? cos fuck you if you did. i hope something similar happens to you as well. or maybe just falling down the stairs and breaking your stupid brainless head would suffice. don't take people's generosity for granted. warning to people who are still holding on to my stuff: be prepared to pay if you know my stuff is damaged, or at least replaced. or get fucked upside down, simple as that. note, i am not arrowing anyone in particular, nor have i listed names. if you're offended, you must be one of those fuckers who belong in above said group. you know who the fuck you are. i just wish people would practice the basic courtesy of handling borrowed items WITH CARE, since people are actually doing you a FAVOUR of lending you something for FREE.

with that off my chest, nothing much to report. been spending my days practicing my music, watching dvds / anime, and reading. mapling abit too. -_- planning to like swim everyday, or at least near that.. for exercise. got scared off cycling when yun was telling us horror stories about going barren. and can't rollerblade cos my skates are spoilt (well.. kind of) + i HATE blading on roads.. i miss that open space near the esplanade. zz. maybe it'd improve my energy level. who wants to go out tell me ah. sometimes cooped at home damn sian. want to go out faster go out ah, soon go attachment maybe want to see me also hard. lol. i need to get more stuff to entertain myself. but i'm like going broke.

when people see me,
all they see is perhaps an unfathomable person who craves understanding. she may seem cold, but she isn't, really. *...sometimes.*
tagged by joyce. whoever thinks she is, ahem, "sexually arousing", please humour her and do it too. \ T^T/

i've resolved never to wear my heart on my sleeve any longer. what he said once is right, if you cry all the time over something seemingly insignificant, no one will know, or care, when the issue is finally serious. whatever la. no one will ever see it again, not if i can help it. yay. i'm officially jaded! ____, welcome me to the club. things that were done before without question has become something perfunctory, or not done at all. please spare me all the bs. i've said it time and again, how people often take others for granted. i feel i've had enough. cos sometimes i feel all i do is to give, and give in. and what do i really get back in return? a pat on the head? no more. i'll give back whatever you do in equal measure. nothing more, nothing less. don't tell me to take the intiative. i won't ever ask now unless you do first. people always whine and complain about how sad and depressing their lives are. yeah? live with it la. like my life is any better meh? can't say much on this for risk of offending people without even meaning to. but i guess much has already gone unspoken, but people know how i feel anyway. or so i hope. will just have to concentrate on other things instead of letting things affect me as usual. i don't feel like trying anymore.

ranting over. sad to say i often blog more about unhappy things then happy things. maybe happy things don't occur that often, or not as strikingly nowadays. sad huh. i wonder how long do memories last, really. time really flies. i'll probably grad before i know it. maybe one day we'll look back and laugh over this silly period. maybe.

postscript: "some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night." -william blake, "auguries of innocence"

2006-02-15T07:35:00.000+08:00

::listening to "king of fools" by edguy::

.p e r c h a n c e.

feel quite sian and zoned out. dunno why. but semester's finishing soon i guess- the last official week is almost upon us. can't wait man. want to grad asap. want to go to ____ but i dunno if i ever will. its all in the future. lol. i've got to study film hist man. and drapro for tmr. i can't believe there's an exam on valentine's day. and on a tues. zz.. cg.. -_- anyone up for petitioning against no adv. cg with me?? bummed. think i'm only looking forward to music for pic.. =\ .. anyway. meme time.

3 things meme:

3 jobs i've had:
inline skate instructor, fish & co. floor crew, events coordinator assistant.

3 books i've just bought:
vampire hunter d- demon deathchase, neil gaiman's smoke and mirrors, murakami's kafka on the shore.

3 TV shows i love or loved:
the x-files, amazing race, buffy the vampire slayer.

3 places i've vacationed:
japan, hongkong, australia

3 lifelong passions:
music, movies, and books.

3 sites i visit daily:
gmail, soft, pink is the new blog.

3 things i really want:
korg triton, rg, digicam, apple i-book, tablet (what the heck lol)

3 things i look forward to each day:
1. seeing edmund 2. hanging out with friends 3. listening to that new album

3 places i feel like eating now:
al-ameen's, ramen place, table barbeque (crap... hungry)

3 places i'd rather be right now:
movies, some place with a live band, japan.

3 hopes for the future:
study in ____ , job in live sound / music industry, comfortable income.

tagging suka, joyce, charlie- whoever who wants to do la -_- memes are fun for wasting time ya. haha! just finished recording the theme for chapters! dunno if it'd do. lack of inspiration sia. lack of rest and feeling sick. bored. interview at showmaker's went pretty well, quite looking forward to it. just hope not all my weekends will be burnt. after the sem finally can also get back on track with my music also. i hate it that i had to stop cos of sch work being over hectic. z. aside from that weekend has been relatively un-newsworthy.. lol. had fun helping out at suka's recording.. guys were mad.. as usual. haha.. i think wq they all -_-| already. was looking through my archives just now.. and find that i really think in a sporadic manner.. and i dunno if that's good or bad. thought alot these few days about the future. what about i don't think i'd disclose cos i'm not so sure about it myself. sigh. sometimes i feel jealous of the experiences that others had, but then again i feel grateful for what i myself have experienced.

postscript: "i don't want be anything other than what i've been trying to be lately."

2006-02-04T16:40:00.000+08:00

::listening to "as i am" by dream theater::

.a w e.

back from hk / beijing! sooo happy to be back! *hugs bed and rolls around in glee* no more scratchy itchy 123501 layers of clothes! and no more bloody winds that make my ears and nose want to drop off. got mild cold rash now, healing really fast once i stepped out of the plane. lol. i hate freaking subzero weather countries la. I ALWAYS GET RASHES COS OF THE BLOODY 126816 LAYERS OF CLOTHES!!! -gripe gripe gripe- anyway. saw relatives and lived off dimsum for about 5 days. climbed the great wall (yes wtf i know) and even went to the forbidden city. ..... -_- yeahhh.. my parents always want to go on these little jaunts to see historical sites or whatever.. i couldn't really appreciate cos i was freezing my pants off. i think what spurred me to walk on was the fact that it bought me closer to the tour bus. hurhur. bloody hell. i wish i could've stayed in sg la. alone also can. then can spend some time with friends and pig. new year holiday ma. and i am still not happy i have to rush off right after DT concert to catch my flight la bloody hell. fuckfuckfuck~~~~ anyway... so that brings me to the more important post- DT!! XD

rushed to meet pig after handing up documents at sch.. skipping drapro AND nfic.. -_- actually i overslept for drapro. wanted to go. couldn't find a single cab and got increasingly agitated. took train there in the end.. and practically ran to the indoor stadium. so kanchiong. but good thing we got there on time cos the merchandise booth was already open. everything was swept up! got 4 cds and 1 dvd (guitar wars! XD). think i spent like $155. -_- my parents will totally murder me if they find out. wahaha. but actually saved money XD below is pic of merch which i just ripped off pig.. cos i lazy to take pic. ahahah!

got everything he got too anyways.. except the shirt. wanted to buy but think i no need to wear pants if i do. thanks to hams for keeping my poster for me! went in pretty early to pre-show VIP lounge and mooched around. took group pic with myung! .... XDD omg he looks the same in RL la. hahah! totally dig his leather jacket. and i got to stand next to him whee! XD ok shall stop fangirling cos i'll start talking about his hair next. -,- took some pics of the stage from the VIP lounge and front.. hams didn't manage to smuggle his cam in, bollocks. dunno how come some people got camera?! wah lan eh. maybe non premium section ppl had a slack inspection or something. made do with camera phone.. mediocre quality but oh wells~

waited for an hour or so for the show to start.. prolly cos alot of idiots were late T_T .. got to know brandon from aphelion who was sitting next to us. heard he's a v pro drummer? i have this vague impression he was in enorhted. i think? very friendly. saw chansey, joel and co, ben, kit, yun and even corey! !! gen told me she was there also.. oh man XD when the show finally started chairs were thrown back and everyone rushed for the barricades.. wicked! managed to snag a spot right in front of petrucci. was squashed like dunno what bird and someone was stepping on my foot. nvm.. very high XD the bodyguard asked me twice if i was ok. lol! show started with root of all evil.. was thinking they'd start with under a glass moon or pull me under =\ don't really fancy octavarium that much but was totally mind blowing anyways. crowd was singing along and screaming ourselves hoarse. faves were definitely the images and words songs. fave album! some pics:

thanks to the people with cams for sharing.. really brings back memories. very happy hahaha. finally got to see them in action.. been wanting to for the longest time. i guess it was like a dream come true for everyone there. the $200 VIP pass was totally worth it. lets hope labrie stays true to his word and they'll be back! XD

ok enough with the excitement.. still feeling quite hyped up so gotta cool off =D back to sch, mundane homework again.. but sem's quickly drawing to a close. so just put in that extra effort to complete everything =D drapro2 will finish finally next week. can't wait man. let's do a good job girls. can't wait to finish off and slack before i go for attachment. year 3 already. time really flies. i can still remember myself in year one getting lost and desperately consulting the super useless map provided. yes i know i have no sense of direction. -_- i don't care lol. open house now and see alot of ah lians and newbies loitering ard our block. not happy mcm ppl like dominating everything. shows that we have alot more work actually. oh well don't want say liao very politicky. YAY we're SENIORS! can dao all the jrs. wahahaha jk la. i think i'm still hyper. wendy and joyce probably made it worse. lol. joyce stupid molester. T_T anyway will resume with practise soon. things going along quite well. will find new teacher after i reach the level i set. nothing much to report, except i still have my throat infection. screamed too much at DT yes yes.. -_- you all at tagboard making fun of me ah. hahaha. i want to watch fearless but no one watch with meee... cos no one like to watch wattaaaa show T_T z. sigh. miss him but... =\ go le. long long post.. but it made up for the relatively long stretch i didn't blog. =D things on my mind now.. which i can't really express. i think i'll go watch closer or smth again tmr.. long saturday. chill peeps.

postscript: "carpe diem, sieze the day, we are food for worms anyway." -dream theater

2006-01-18T13:58:00.000+08:00

::listening to "wasted time" by skid row::

.b l a n k.

new year. new layout. another one that can be re-used over and over again. lol. suits ~~lazy~~ busy people like me. initially wanted concert scenes but couldn't find nice ones. boiled down to fight club and dogtown. dogtown won out, obviously. watch it if you haven't. great flick.

nothing much to update on, except the obvious fact that i'm not very happy nowadays. i try, but it doesn't really seem to work. drapro's run into some complications. hope everything clears up soon. we got film though! i guess that's a fact we should be proud of. and i haven't really started on my film history report. lol. and neither do i feel like starting. this is fucked up man. totally fucked up. applied for 77, 108, and insound. was surprised every single one replied with interest. i'm hoping that 108 takes us. it'd seriously improve my current disposition. then it'd be sucks to that potted hernia person. i can't wait to just finish up this rotten sem and go for my attachment. no need to return to le np hell hole for a few months. shiok, no. very very tired. the placement of modules totally sucks to the max. won't start ranting cos i'll probably just start getting all pissed off, again.

i don't really feel like going overseas now. the day just draws closer and closer. i don't feel like leaving. sometimes i wonder, what an extra hour of time really means to you? perfunctoriness's sake? your conscience? or just extra time to chill? i don't know. i don't know why i bother with some things at all. when everything seems to come to naught, even when i try to be understanding. the feeling of despair or blankness sinks in as i walk away. i don't know what to say.. it's funny sometimes. how something that was once euphoric can turn so depressing. oh well. i guess you can either make your life more worthwhile and interesting in other ways, or just kill it with all that emotional baggage we all carry. hopefully i can start on what i want to pursue soon. i guess i'll go wash up, and get down to that report like i should have been doing hours ago, instead of wasting people's time. i hope i finish this sem in one piece. at least my mood's improved by an iota now. nothing like ridiculing the beastie girls to cheer up eh? haha~

postcript: "i think back to the times, when dreams were what mattered. tough talking youth naivete- you said you'll never let me down, but the horse stampedes and rages- in the name of desperation.." - "wasted time", skid row

2006-01-02T03:30:00.000+08:00

::listening to "something's missing" by john mayer trio::

.g r e y i s h.

first post of the new year. not feeling very happy though. crap is starting all over again. hell hole is reopening in a day. everyone's uptight now.. chill ppl. getting all worked up is no use yeah.. just keep your cool and something'll work out. not a very good first day.. whole day was entirely fucked up. joel & co and the 1/2 marroon 5 wasn't bad but other then that. fucked up. i really shouldn't bother anymore. can't be bothered. detachment is the key. will work on that. asap too. started out with something in mind to blog about. can't recall now. maybe cos i've got other things on my mind. and dramapro is worrying. nvm. enough of that. this somewhat cheered me up a little though.

heh. pg and his power wheaties. i wonder how 2006 will fare. i hope it'd be lots better then the rubbish later half of 2005. it had better be. pearl: yeah i miss you too. it's been awhile since we've been out.. i still have my f&c shirt. lol! fond memories. rem the fried / grilled cala. say hello to gordon for me. =)

back on track. i have a shitload of work waiting for me. i didn't expect the onslaught to descend this fast but yeah i've better get a move on. truffaut, anyone? sidetracked to youtube and syu while "researching". bloody depressed. i wonder if i die who would even remotely care. whatevers. enough with the negativity. detach, detach.. think i'll get myself a new book soon. have a good idea what to take up already after i finish all the school work. i want this semester to end like now. we'll just have to slog on and try our best. gambatte peeps. i should go and do what i can to cheer myself up now. that john mayer song is so apt..

^{don't take me for granted. cos one day i'll just disappear from your life like you've never known me. but then again maybe thats what you want}.

postscript: "and i can't tell you just what's keeping me down. something's missing, and i don't know how to fix it. something's missing, and i don't know what it is, no i don't know what it is... i don't." - "something's missing", john mayer

11:30PM JAN 1 2006